Thursday, November 29, 2007

Inequality - get over it

Im watching ESPN and theyre talking about the lack of black coaches in college football Im sick of this shit already. Do we ever hear complaints about the lack of white players in basketball? No. Why? Because there arent as many white players that are better than the black players that dominate the game. Im a long time hoops fan and I still get a laugh when there are more than 2 white dudes on the court at the same time. Im not bitter about it though. Perhaps there arent many black coaches because they just arent any good? Maybe they are at a slight disadvantage, not because of color, but because they havent established the right relationships? Bottom line is that Im tired of the goddamn race card coming up as a cop out. Prove your better and EARN the fuckin job.

You know, I cant help what happened hundreds of years ago with the slaves. Im not Doc or Marty McFly and I cant go back in time in the Delorian to change history. Im tired of hearing about it. Granted there are a lot of people who still look at other races as "inferior", but those people are jealous and scared to admit that they are the inferior ones. On the flip side, the ones who usually play the race card are usually the lazy ones looking for a handout. Get over it.

At least ESPN made up for it by airing the Tony LaRussa DUI tape from his arrest in Jupiter, FL. It was awesome! He was stumbling all over the place and after his rendition of the alphabet I expected the cop to pull a David Spade and say, "Excuse me, did I catch a "niner" in there?"

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Done Got Old...

I turn 30 next month. It hasnt really been a big deal to me because Im still a kid inside. However, while jogging yesterday morning, I went to take a deep breath and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. Boy did it hurt. I was yelping just putting on clothes! Then I had to go to the dentist for some drillings thanks to my awesome decision to not have my teeth professionally cleaned in almost 4 years. Yup, bad idea on my part. You can brush and floss all you want, but nothing takes the place of a professional cleaning. The dentist was impressed that it was only as bad as it was! So, I had 2 on top and 2 on bottom but they cant novicane top AND bottom, so she just did the top. I said, "I want you to do as many as you can cuz I dont wanna come back" so she asked if I minded if we did the bottom ones without. I said that was fine because my back hurt so bad that some tooth pain could only make me feel better at that point. I was right. It didnt really hurt that bad and my back felt great lying in the chair. That was until I had to get up again. I iced it all day and took ibuprofen and it was feeling WAY better when I got home. Then I went to sit on the couch and BANG! It felt like someone had shot me in the back with a taser. It took every ounce of lifeforce that I had to get myself up, turn out the lights, and crawl into bed. But my back still KILLED and I was starting to panic a bit. Luckily, my neighbor is a physical trainer who works with a ton of athletes and I was able to call him and have him come over to stretch me out. I barely slept last night and Im still hurtin today. This officially sucks.

Back to the point of this post... Its a huge wake up call that it doesnt matter how you feel all the time, your body is eventually gonna slap you upside the head and say, "Smarten up kid". I have been running a lot lately to prepare for a ski trip next month, but I clearly need to do more and do it more often. The days of being a skinny puke who could eat whatever and do whatever are gone Im afraid. I feel like a piece of me has died haha.

I'll leave you with a little Junior Kimbrough that has been remade by other artists like Buddy Guy and the Heartless Bastards... Its called "Done Got Old".

well, sometimes I feel old
can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

sometimes I feel old (4x)
can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

remember the day, baby
that's passed and gone
said I could love you
once in a time (?)
nothing has changed
but I feel old

can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

I don't look like I used to
I don't walk like I used to
I don't love like I used to, oh
but I feel old

can't do the things
I can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

Friday, November 16, 2007

Have you ever wanted to tell yourself to "go fuck yourself"?

Normally when I get emails forwarded to me I trash them. If they are forwards that have been forwarded over and over again, chances of me reading it lessen even more. Well, I guess I trusted the source today because I actually opened all of the forwards until I got to the end and hit the link to this site. Its pretty damn cool. The site is called SitePal and you can type in text and the computer character will speak it back to you. They even have a link where you can create a character for free, though Im sure there is a catch somewhere. The site is for businesses as well, but lets face it, most of their traffic is probably coming from people like me who want to hear a computer say, "go fuck yourself" and "man that chili went right thru me, I gotta take a dump" haha.

Check it out for yourself!

Monday, November 12, 2007

A must read if you need a laugh...

If you are ever wanting to laugh your ass off, you gotta visit The Best Page in the Universe. Ive been reading this guy for years and he never fails to crack me up. Ive read his most recent post about 5 times and each time I still laugh my ass off. Other posts are equally as funny, so if you need a laugh I recommend cycling thru.


Thursday, November 8, 2007


- I have sat by many a douchebag on many a flight and lately Ive been geting peppered with horrible flightmates who either have screaming babies (and do nothing to calm them) or they dont believe in deodorant. Another frustrating one when you just wanna relax and youre sitting next to the guy/gal who is really annoying and struggling to find things to talk about so they just start blurting random open-ended questions at you like, "So what do you think about (insert current issue here)?" Ultimately, you always want good flightmates, preferably attractive ones. Sitting next to an attractive person on an airplane just improves the experience that much more. Youre row is like a fantasy sports team. Ultimately, you want a good balance of attractive row-mates, but its almost impossible that youll go 2/2 in this category. So, you pray for that one stud traveler and hope that no one else sits in the row or that you don get stuck with a dud who ruins the whole damn thing. Because I fly a ton, I usually get to sit up front and board early, so watching people walk by is like the "row draft", only youre not the owner with the pick. Youre more like the MVP QB that has to play with said pick. You cringe when you see a big mama/papa walking down the aisle and then rejoice when you realize they, and their horrible odor, are definitely in the back of the plane as they pass you. Then there's the depression when the mom with baby sits anywhere within a 5 row radius, or the celebration when the cute girl in the business suit sits next to you and chats for a bit. On my flight yesterday, my fantasy seat draft went horrible, but I was able to make a HUGE free agent signing. I was stuck next to Sir Reeks Alot when the old couple in front of me decided to take their screaming baby to the back (I think it was making a lot of chocolate pudding) to be near the bathrooms. This cleared the way for me to make the ol' switcharoo and I ended up sitting next to a nice Columbian girl who was very well endowed. Killer trade!

- There has been some talk about a law that would fine people for wearing baggy pants that hang down past their ass and show their underwear. While I agree that this look is pretty ridiculous and I still cant figure out how they get their pants to stay on that way, I have to say that this law is absurd and violates freedom of expression. Some people in favor of the law are African Americans who feel that this style of dress creates a bad image for their race and they believe said image will improve if this law is passed. Rather than focusing on baggy pants, which mainly focuses on African American males, how about we have a law that fines girls, or better yet, manufacturers who make and market extremely short mini skirts, shorts, overly-exposing tops, etc, to young girls? It might cut down on girls being called "whores" and lead to less rapes. Just sayin...

- Its awesome to be a fan of Boston sports right now. The Sox won it all, the Pats are undefeated and making a bid for a perfect season, and the Celtics are looking pretty tough to beat with Pierce, KG, and Allen running the show. Not to mention the Sox resigned Schilling and are negotiating with Lowell for another contract, plus BC has made quite a run before losing their first game last week. Bruins dont look too bad either (which is a miracle in itself). Just another day in the greatest sports city in the world.

- Drove thru my first snowstorm of the year on Tuesday up in Buffalo, NY. Pretty cool. Cant say I miss the cold weather, but I definitely miss the snow and skiing. Ski trip planned for December in Vancouver, so I hope they get dumped on SOON!

- Speaking of Buffalo... I am amazed at the number of hot girls up there! I have some friends in Miami that are from Buffalo, so I was aware of them and some of their friends being hot, but damn! I didnt think there were that many good looking women in such a cold and boring place! Everywhere I went there were cute, if not hot, chicks. Makes a trip to Buffalo that much more enjoyable...

- I think I need to send out a heartfelt apology to the 20 or so passengers who were crammed inside the same little plane as me on a 45 minute flight from Buffalo to JFK. I had gone to Friday's for dinner the night before and their Jack Daniel's BBQ gave me the absolute worst gas Ive probably ever had (Ive probably said this 1000 times in my life, but this was the worst). Anyways, I couldnt bear holding another one in, so I let one silently escape, hoping it would be buried in my seat. Unfortunately, the seats were leather and the gas ricocheted off and seeped out into the air of the cabin. I pretended to be asleep while biting my lip to keep from cracking up and alerting everyone that I was the culprit, but I have to admit, this was a bad one that I almost couldnt even stand and it was my own. Sometimes I think they should send me over to Iraq and feed me BBQ and then use my ass during interrogations. I swear, after 15 minutes in a 3x3 room with me, any terrorist would gladly give up Bin Laden's location!

- Speaking of farting... Isnt it funny how you can always tolerate the smell of your own no matter how bad they are but if someone else farts the smell is unbearable? Why does this happen? These are things I need to know...

- Ok, getting away from toilet humor... This is my favorite time in Miami. The weather couldnt be more perfect. Warm during the day, cool at night. Itll be like this until mid-March and I love it. Time to break out the blazers!

Thats about all I have to offer right now. I needed a quick break from work and now I need to leave my office for a second cuz I just farted...just kidding! Hahaha!