Blind Mind

Coconut Grove Is Not a Spot for Nightlife

2011-12-22T10:41:00.000-05:00

This is in response to a post I read today over at Coconut Grove Grapevine.

I hate to break it to ya, Grape, but the days of the Grove being popular for nightlife are numbered. It wouldn't matter if the City told every business they could be open until 5am. It's too late. Time to focus on something else. Mo's may have gotten their 5am license back but when was the last time you went to that place? I hate to be harsh but...it's a dump. The leather chairs are ripped with stuffing coming out, there's dust EVERYWHERE (look at the A/C vents next time you're there and try not to puke), and the food is, well, let's just say "not good". I think they finally updated some of the TVs that were so old many didnt even have color anymore but they still don't get a crowd for football on Sundays. That's saying something. I'm sorry but that's not a place I get excited about spending my hard-earned money at. To think that 5am closing is going to revitalize the Grove is just plain silly. Had it never been taken away, maybe things would be different. But change was made and people adapt to change. Adapting meant finding somewhere else to enjoy a late night if that is your thing.

The Grove was a happenin' spot for awhile but between the loss of the late nights and the development of South Miami, people have adapted and moved on. The main nightlife crowd for the Grove was always the college kids from UM. When I first moved to Miami, I lived in South Miami and couldn't believe that the area didn't cater to college kids located right across US1. Those kids would come to the Grove to have fun but they'd have to drive, cab, or bus it. I would do that too as I was only a few years out of college. Now those college kids can literally walk to bars, restaurants, and clubs in South Miami. It's far more convenient.

I moved to the Grove 8 years ago because I really liked the laid back vibe and the abundance of vegetation amongst the streets surrounding Center Grove. There were some cool spots to hang out at, most notably Cafe Tu Tu Tango which I felt did the best job at capturing the spirit of the Grove - the laid back lifestyle, friendliness, funky art, and casual fun of it. In fact, that's the first place I would take visitors from out of town to get a feel for my Miami neighborhood. Well, I watched as that space plummeted downhill in terms of the building (during its last CG Arts Festival there were parts of the wooden floor that you would sink into when you walked!!) and soon they were forced to vacate. Between rising real estate costs and the decline of visitors to the Grove (for multiple reasons, lots of which have to do with the progress of other neighborhoods like S. Miami, Brickell, and the DD/Wynwood area), plus a down economy, the Grove dwindled away.

In the past year or so, I think that there's been a little pickup of activity thanks to some nice events at Peacock Park, parades, etc. The momentum that these events provide only lasts for a few days and then it's back to the current situation of struggling businesses and many empty storefronts.

I actually saw a commercial for the Grove on TV last week. It said, "Why is the Grove so cool?" I laughed, not because the Grove isn't cool in it's own way, but because the ad was pretty cheesy. I think the main challenge is figuring out what makes the Grove DIFFERENT. Late night bars and clubs are a "me too" and, quite frankly, they don't really fit the neighborhood outside of what currently exists. What I like about the Grove is being outside, seeing the waterfront, clean streets. There's a few decent spots to eat - Jaguar, Le Bouchon, Sandbar (for tacos and fries and football). I think being part of the outdoors and the waterfront needs to be played up. There's this Waterfront Master Plan that is supposed to be a game changer to our waterfront on Biscayne Bay but all I know is that the developers and resident groups are still battling about what is to be done.

Regardless of what happens to the waterfront plan, nightlife is not the answer. There have been plenty of spots who have tried and failed - Burgundy Room, Central Beer Garden, Central Sushi, just to name a few of the more recent casualties. The new spot at the Mayfair that wants to do bottle service will likely be the next victim. Nightlife in terms of bars and clubs are square pegs and the Grove is a round hole. They just don't fit.

I'm Pretty Tired of the Steve Jobs Worshipping but....

2011-12-06T10:00:00.003-05:00

This is pretty fuckin' inspirational.

Adam Carolla is a Tad Frustrated with the Occupy Movement & Today's Youth

2011-12-05T22:59:00.000-05:00

This is pretty hilarious. Really tough to take serious but hilarious. I can agree with the sentiment that kids simply don't want to work though. I see it almost every day I'm on the road. I have customers with healthy, thriving businesses and the business owners do all the work themselves because their employees are awful. It's pretty sad. Anyways, back to the hilarity that is this rant.

UC Davis: The Other Side of the Coin

2011-12-04T23:58:00.000-05:00

Thoughts on this?

NFL Survivor Pool - Week 5 Pick

2011-10-07T14:17:00.001-04:00

We took a calculated risk last week taking New Orleans on the road but they beat Jacksonville easily as predicted. So far, Arizona, Pittsburgh, San Diego, and New Orleans are off the board.

This week is another tough one. There are a few picks for people who like to gamble but luckily there is also one pretty safe play. Here's what I'm looking at for week 5...

Oakland at Houston - I was surprised to see Houston as a 6 point favorite in this game with Andre Johnson sitting out with an injury. In fact, I think the Texans are in for a bit of a surprise and will have a tough time with Oakland on both sides of the ball. The Raiders D has improved a lot as has their passing game. The running game, led by Darren McFadden who is the league's top RB right now, is still strong. I think Oakland will pull out a win in this game on the road. But I'm not betting my Survivor life on it...

Patriots at home vs Jets - This was another surprising line - Pats by 9.5?!?! Sure they're at home but against a division rival who's beaten them 3 out of 5 times since Rex Ryan took over as coach? Bottom line is that the AFC East teams always play each other well. Patriots will have last year's playoff loss on their minds as well as all the bulletin board material the big mouths on the Jets will give them to fuel their fire. Jets are intent on stopping Brady and Welker which, if they can do so, could lead to problems for the Pats. I think the Pats win this one with a balanced rushing attack (Ridley getting more action this week), and Brady hooking up with Welker, Branch, and Gronkowski. They will score enough to make up for their defense getting shredded by Tomlinson (he will have a big game), Holmes, and I'm also expecting Burress to have a good game since he has a huge size advantage over the Pats meager secondary. If you're a gambler, take the Pats. I'll wait...

Giants at home vs Seahawks - This is the cupcake for the week. The Giants made mincemeat of the Eagles a few weeks back, then survived Arizona last week. This week they're home against one of the worst teams in the league that will be traveling cross-country from the West to the East. That's something we love in NFL Survivor. Giants win easy.

The official pick is...

NFL Survivor Pool - week 4 pick

2011-09-30T16:58:00.000-04:00

A week full of upsets last week but luckily our pick was a winner as the Chargers held off a late Chiefs rally for the victory. I told you to stay away from the Pats, didn't I?

This week is another tough week. We've won with Arizona, Pittsburgh, and San Diego so far so they are off the board. Here's what games stand out to me:

Tampa Bay at home vs Indy - The Bucs played great last week and were able to upset the Falcons. This week, they get an ailing Colts team at home. I like RB Blount against Indy's poor rushing D and I think TB Defense can keep the Colts offense off the field.

Philly at home vs San Fran - San Fran is struggling this year. Their offense is awful and once again Frank Gore has some injuries nagging him. It's also clear that Alex Smith is not an elite NFL quarterback. They will be traveling cross country to play the Eagles who are coming off of an embarrassing loss to the Giants. Vick is questionable but will likely play. Eagles take this one easily.

New Orleans at Jacksonville - I usually try to stay away from road teams but this game is a lock. The Jags have a rookie starting at QB and virtually no defense. Other than Maurice Jones-Drew, there is no one on this team to score. The Saints won at Houston in a barn burner last week and I expect them to dominate this week.

Green Bay at home vs Denver - The Broncos have injury woes at the RB and WR positions and have not looked like a team that can score at all this year. The Packers, on the other hand, do nothing but score. Their D is one of the league's best as well. Green Bay is a strong home team and should win handily.

All that said, I'm torn about this week's pick. I think all of them are locks. That's usually not good. I'm going to go against my "road team rule" this week as this is the easiest matchup this team will have all season. The pick is...

NFL Survivor Pool - week 3 pick

2011-09-23T10:35:00.001-04:00

We had an easy win with last week's Steeler pick. They shutout the Seahawks without much difficulty. This week there isn't much to choose from but there is one standout pick that should get the W.

Patriots on the road at Buffalo - Some might think this is the week to go with the Pats. No effing way. They're on the road against a division opponent that always plays them tough and Buffalo's Ryan Fitzpatrick has been on fire this year throwing all over defenses. Add to that the Patriots awful secondary and I wouldn't be surprised if Buffalo pulls off the upset. Stay away.

Chargers at home vs Chiefs - The Chiefs lost star RB Jamaal Charles for the season last week when he ran into a cameraman and effed up is ACL. Coincidentally, he was my 1st round pick in this year's fantasy football draft. Not awesome. The Chiefs are awful on both sides of the ball and the Chargers looked good against the Pats last week but just couldn't stop Brady from throwing all over them. I'm looking at their offense continuing to fire on all cylinders against the lowly Chiefs.

Titans at home vs Broncos - This is the last game that I like this week. The Broncos are traveling east to play a Titans team that is just starting to gel. Broncos have QB "controversy" and may be without their top WR Brandon Lloyd. They're also missing Knowshon Moreno this week, not that it's a big shocker as he too is on my fantasy team. Not much else to say on this game. I'd probably save Tennessee for a later week though.

This week the answer is clear on who to take to SURVIVE another week in your pool...

NFL Survivor Pool - week 2 pick

2011-09-16T09:55:00.001-04:00

For the last couple of seasons, I've sauntered on over to The Chowfather's blog to engage in debate about weekly picks for an NFL Survivor Pool. This year he has made the decision to not post his picks on his blog. Why? I have no idea. But I'm picking up the slack.

Not familiar with NFL Survivor? Here's a primer for ya. Each week you pick one team to win their game. There are no point spreads involved, the team just needs to walk off the field as a winner when the final whistle blows. The catch is that once you pick a team you cannot select that team a second time. One wrong pick and you are eliminated. Participants continue to pick a team each week until there is one "survivor" left or until there is a small amount of people left in the pool who agree to split the pot. It's pretty tough but it's a lot of fun.

Last week, both Chowfather and I selected the Arizona Cardinals to beat the Carolina Panthers and boy did we sweat that one out. A late punt return TD gave the Cardinals the victory. This week, there are a few enticing games to select. Here's what I'm looking at:

Pittsburgh at home vs Seattle - The Steelers looked awful against the Ravens in week one and got their asses handed to them. The Seahawks aren't even close to the caliber team that the Ravens are and they'll be traveling across the country to play as the road team in the Steelers home opener.

NY Jets at home vs Jacksonville - The Jets came out slow versus Dallas last week but managed to stick around long enough to capitalize on the eventual Dallas meltdown to win the game with a late 50yd field goal. Jacksonville gave up on QB David Garrard this season and MJD is sure to see his fair share of "gang green" when he's handed the ball in the backfield. Jets D is solid and should keep the Jags offense on the sidelines most of the game.

Detroit at home vs KC - Detroit hosts their first home game of the season against the Kansas City Chiefs this Sunday. I gotta admit that I hopped on the Lions bandwagon during preseason early this year so this pick is a bit of a reach. The basis behind it is that Kansas City looked awful last week, giving Ryan Fitzpatrick of the Bills a career passing day that ended with him tossing 4 TDs. That's the Bills, on the road at KC, with an OL that is almost non-existent. I'd like to think that the Lions are an upgrade to the Bills at every position on both sides of the ball and they are at home. Again, this pick is a reach but worth consideration.

I also have light feelings for the Giants at home versus the Rams on MNF since the Rams are without RB Steven Jackson and WR Danny Amendola and a finger injury could cause issues for QB Sam Bradford. But I also don't trust the Giants OL to protect Eli Manning who seems to get murdered every game.

All that said, my mantra in NFL Survivor is to focus on the current week and not worry about "saving" a team to use them later in the season. So, this week my official pick is...

Things We Already Knew: People on Welfare Are Not All Druggies

2011-08-30T19:22:00.002-04:00

Was driving through Atlanta, GA today listening to some local talk radio when the jockey who was on at the time mentioned brought up the state of Florida's projected $178 Million dollar study (in fiscal year one) to drug test people who collect welfare checks. So far, the study has found that while 2% we cited as drug users, 96% of these people do not use drugs. This is less than the national average of people over the age of 12 who use drugs (8.7%) and over the age of 26 (6.3%). It also disproves Governor Rick Scott's ridiculous statement that people on welfare are more likely to use drugs than people who are not on welfare. Wow, imagine that? When asked for comment, it appears that the Governor's office declined. Wow, imagine that?

The jockey went on to call out Governor Rick Scott for wasting $178M of taxpayer money on a ridiculous study when the state is struggling to fund other programs and cutting the jobs of teachers, firefighters, and policemen. He ended by saying, "This guy has got to go. People of Florida need to make sure their voice is heard at the next election".

I found it pretty funny that here we had a disc jockey for a radio station in the next state that was more in tune with the politics of Florida than most Floridians are. I wanted to call in and let him know that I agreed with him in full but the sad part is that an asshole like Rick Scott is likely to be re-elected because people in Florida are asleep at the wheel when it comes to politics.

Hurricanes

2011-08-23T13:15:00.001-04:00

I thought I'd respond to SFDB's post about how he doesn't like when people say that they enjoy a hurricane.

I've spent hours putting up shutters in the hot Florida sun and they were for someone else, not me. Not fun.

I've heard the roar of the winds, watched the trees bend and fall. Cool stuff. My car was damaged by a falling tree. Not cool stuff.

I've been without ice but was smart enough to have water on hand. I've had to ration food from my fridge and pantry and I've shared with neighbors.

After Wilma, I was without hot water for 3 months (might've been close to 4) and took ice cold showers daily. Not fun.

I've not seen firsthand the devastating effects of a Category 4 or 5 hurricane and I feel horrible for those who experience loss in such storms much like I do when other parts of the country have tornadoes or earthquakes that are violently destructive.

Having said all that, as I said the other day to Rick of SFDB on Twitter, I enjoy a hurricane. I guess I'm talking about a Cat 1 or 2 when I say that, as I certainly wouldn't want to experience a Cat 4 or 5. The smaller ones usually leave little damage and flooding.

But I do enjoy a hurricane. I enjoy the feeling of fear of the unknown, the power of the weather as it hits, the knowledge that Man cannot control EVERYTHING. That we are powerless. That we sit and hope for the best while preparing for the worst. And if the worst happens, we band together and deal with it and move forward.

I guess you could say it makes me feel...

Human.

Bombs away!

2011-03-20T21:25:00.001-04:00

Part of traveling a lot for a living means you are susceptible to uncomfortable situations and lots of them. Like having to sit in an airport for 6+ hours because a flight has been delayed or because you've finished early and there is no earlier flight to catch. Or maybe you booked a hotel in a new area and it's a dump but you just have to suck it up and get some rest. Or maybe, just maybe it's the worst of all situations...having to take a dump in a public bathroom.

The public dump is something I try to avoid at all costs. There is nothing more uncomfortable than having to hover over a toilet and drop cable while others are raining down brown of their own. Public bathrooms are dirty, smelly, and just not somewhere desirable to take a crap. They can be entertaining sources of laughter though, like when you're trying to pinch a loaf and the guy in the shitter next to you is farting out some machine gun diarrhea. The sound of farting always cracks me up, even more so when it's accompanied by a stressful moan or sigh of relief.

I've compiled a list of the worst public places to take a dump. Why? Because I'm stuck at an airport for 6 hours and need to entertain myself and fart/poop stories are just plain hilarious. Plus, just before I left for the airport I felt last night's dinner and post dinner bourbon fighting like a UFC battle was going on in my stomach and made sure to drop my payload in the comfort of my hotel room. Veteran move.

The Convention Center Dump - Seems like every time I need to take a leak while working a convention I enter the bathroom only to hear someone annihilating the toilet and the air with a stink bomb. I've been able to avoid this dump, choosing to hold it in for hours if necessary as these bathrooms are usually filthy.

The Fast Food Dump - Once I was on a business trip driving thru the middle of the country when I knew I needed to take a shit at the first opportunity I could. I could feel "the wave" in my stomach and knew I wouldn't be able to hold out for long so I stopped at a Wendy's and tore that place up. It was all sorts of awful. To make matters worse, the toilet was broken and wouldn't flush. Well, that didn't make matters worse for me, so to speak. Actually, I got a good laugh out of it as I pictured some poor soul who would have to take care of the nuclear fallout I'd left behind. The fast food dump is usually avoidable because usually where there is a fast food joint off the highway, there is also a hotel and hotel bathrooms are usually pretty clean. Yeah, you know you'll thank me for that tip someday.

The Rest Stop Dump - Another doozy. Rest stop bathrooms are poorly maintained and/or have heavy traffic. As a result, you're gonna be in for harsh conditions and a total lack of peace and quiet should the brown bandit come to pay you a visit on the turnpike. I was 22 years old and on my first ever business trip with a female coworker who was in her early 30s going to visit a client. I don't know what the hell I ate the night before but about 45 minutes into the 2hr drive it wanted to exit thru the back door in a hurry. She was driving so I said I had to take a leak and we stopped at a rest stop where the bathrooms look like an elevated trailer home. I'm in there at least 15 minutes just punishing the toilet with ass fury. Every time I think it's clear to go, another round of explosive diarrhea hits and I gotta stay a little longer. I eventually get back to the car and said I got sick and was throwing up. I know, totally wussed out.

The Port-O-Potty Dump - Can't say this has ever happened to me and if it has it was so horrific I erased it from my memory. Really nothing good about this one. You're dumping into a hole with other dumpage and piss everywhere and you're all alone, wallowing in your own shame for having to shit in a port-o-potty.

The Office Dump - "Hey look, there goes the office shitter." A comment you hope is never about you. When I first started a job I was scared to death to take a crap at work because the bathroom was just off the main hallway near all of the offices and cubicles. It basically sat in the middle of everything. It also had really thin walls as I learned when one of the larger women in the office started a fiber diet and could be heard farting shit out of her ass continuously, reducing me to tears from laughter while I was on the phone with a customer. The only positive was it was a solo bathroom. One day I finally get the courage to drop a bomb at work and everything goes rather smoothly - little to no farting, quick enough, and I watched the flush and made sure everything went down. I was relieved but it didn't last long. About 2-3 hours later, I hear a commotion in the hallway and the owner is talking to the janitor. The toilet has overflowed and there is doody all over the bathroom floor. I'm shocked because I watched it go down so I'm pretty sure someone had to have gone in there after me and tore up the joint. Even so, it took awhile to get the courage to do that again. However, with this job also came my first personal office which gave me freedom to bury a fart in my chair every now and then should nature call. Well, one day I've got the hot, rotten egg farts and I'm carefree farting up a storm in my office. All of a sudden, I hear this conversation in the hallway: "Did someone burn eggs in the toaster over or something? I don't know? It's either that or a something died in the ceiling over the weekend." Whoops.

The Stadium Dump - This is another one I have thankfully managed to avoid but apparently many can't because it seems like every game I've attended in my life there is always someone having a blowout in the bathroom. I remember one time I was at Fenway and some guy was taking a very audible dump with loud farts and I said, "Show that turd who's boss, buddy!" and everyone in the bathroom cracked up. Never gets old.

The Airport Dump - I'll never forget my first one. My sales rep and I had taken down a mean spicy meat lovers pizza at an Italian joint one night and the next day had an early morning meeting before I had to get to the airport. That 'za was knockin on the door mid-meeting, so bad that I started sweating. My rep got me to the airport quickly but I had to hit the shitter before I checked in or else I was probably going to crap myself. I soon gave birth to a hot, spicy, pile of brown lava in the handicrap stall. It smelled so bad that someone who entered the bathroom while I was unloading said, "GEEZ!" and literally coughed and gagged. I laughed myself to tears. In fact, I'm laughing myself to tears just writing this recollection of it.

The 40,000ft Dump - This one has got to be the worst. Airplane bathrooms are usually filthy and also impossible to be comfortable in even when you're standing taking a leak. Dropping trow is even more uncomfortable. They have a "hover handle" in there to help but it's still tough. It must suck to be a woman and have to hover just to take a piss on a plane. In September of 2009, my 31 year streak of never having to shit in an airplane came to an end. It was a horrific experience that I tried to hold off until I couldn't take it anymore. I unleashed my fury on that flight with a good 10 minute diarrhea fest. When I emerged, a line of people who had to use the bathroom had formed and the smell trailed me as I made my way back to my seat. At first I was embarrassed but embarrassment turned to pride as I realized that these people were forced to cower in the presence of my ass power.

I'm sure there are plenty more public places that are awful to take a crap but I'm sitting in a restaurant at the airport typing and laughing so badly to myself that I've got to end this. I hope this brought you as many laughs as it did me and may your dumps always be in the comfort of your own home or hotel room.

Ike & Val Woods - Live @ Upstairs @ the Van Dyke!!

2011-03-04T15:00:00.000-05:00

If you're a fan of blues, funk, soul, and gospel music and love to see a kickass musical performance then boy have I got somethin' for you. My favorite band in Miami - Ike & Val Woods - will be playing this Saturday night Upstairs @ the Van Dyke on Lincoln Road. Show starts at 9pm and the place fills up quick so get there and grab a table or shore up at the bar and get ready for a great time. I love seeing live music at this venue because it's small and intimate. Bar prices are reasonable for South Beach too. Also, you may want to wear a Teflon face mask because there is a pretty good chance Reverend Ike might melt your face off with one of his face-melting guitar solos. Ike IS the blues and I am so thankful to have someone like him here in Miami playing music that I love. Ike & Val and their whole band pour their entire lifeforce into every performance and it's awesome to see. Their drummer had an epic drum solo a few months ago that was so awesome I bought him a beer when the song was over. Check it out, you won't be sorry and you'll leave there feelin' real good.

One for Ricky

2011-03-03T08:57:00.000-05:00

I usually don't read forwarded emails. Yup, usually they get the delete key at the preview screen. Today I happened to read one because it came from a pretty good source and was titled, "Something to think about..." The email indeed was something to think about and also took a political tone that of course reminded me of Rick at South Florida Daily Blog and his political posting that his readers suffer through each week. :)

I've taken the liberty of copying and pasting the email below. Share your thoughts...

To: SteveBM, etc, etc
Subject: Something to think about...

There is something in here that I imagine all or most can agree on - except
ex-congressmen/senators and current ones! I like the thinking at any rate.

The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took
only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people
demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail,
before cell phones, etc.

Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or
less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.

I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty
people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do
likewise.

In three days, most people in The United States of America will have
the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.

Congressional Reform Act of 2011

1. Term Limits.

12 years only, one of the possible options below..

A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms

2. No Tenure / No Pension.

A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay
when they are out of office.

3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.

All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social
Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social
Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.

4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans
do.

5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional
pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.

6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in
the same health care system as the American people.

7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
people.

8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
1/1/11.

The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.

Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s),
then go home and back to work.

If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only
take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message.
Maybe it is time.

THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it
on. If not, just delete

You are one of my 20+. Please keep it going.

Press On

2011-02-28T10:09:00.000-05:00

Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.

-Calvin Coolidge

9 Years and 10 Games of Patriots and Doll Fans

2010-10-07T19:37:00.000-04:00

It was a warm fall day when I pulled into my new home in South Miami on October 6th, 2001. I had just moved down to Miami from Boston for absolutely no reason at all. I was jobless but looking forward to the adventure of starting a new life in a new city. I arrived to an empty house and began unpacking. My roommates were out on the water for the Columbus Day Regatta and came home all sorts of riled up. They decided to throw a party to welcome me that night which was pretty awesome. I met a lot of cool people that night but the one who surprised me most was a Colombian girl named Maria who was into classic and alternative rock. We talked for a bit and somehow sports came up and I mentioned I was a Patriots fan. She didn't know much about football so that was that. The party ended around 5am from what I remember. Good times.

The next morning at 10am, there is a knock on the door and someone ringing the bell. "What the hell is this shit?", I remember thinking to myself as I trudged over to the door in a zombie-like state. It was a guy who said he was Maria's cousin. He had two tickets and a parking pass for the Patriots/Dollfans* game and would sell them to me if I wanted them for $80. Sold! My first day in Miami was off to a great start! I vowed that from then on, I would make it an annual event to go to the game when the Patriots were in town. It's been 9 years to the day and I've kept that vow, having attended 10 Pats/Dollfans games since.

2001 - Not much tailgating for this one since we got the tix that morning. My roommate and I got to the game right before kickoff and parked in a lot far from the stadium, guzzling a few beers on the walk in. On our walk from the car to the stadium, Troy Brown ran the opening kick back to the Dollfans 5 yard line. We then heard from other tailgaters that the USA had begun bombing Afghanistan. It was 1 month after 9/11. The Pats took a 7-0 lead but it was all Dollfans after that as Lamar Smith ran all over the Pats D. The final score was 30-10, Dollfans. Two more things about this game... Having moved to Miami from a small un-diverse town just North of Boston, I was experiencing major culture shock. It seemed like no one spoke English in Miami. At halftime, I was very moved when the American flag was draped across the field and a moment of silence for our brothers and sisters in war overseas was observed by all in attendance. The other part about the game wasn't so surprising. Jay Fiedler was having a great game. He threw one pick in garbage time when the game was out of reach and was booed like no tomorrow as Doll Fans around me talked about how much he sucked. Way to get behind your team. The Pats would finish the season as Super Bowl Champions for the first time in my lifetime. Figures the year I move away they win it all...haha.

2002 - A buddy of mine flew down with his girlfriend for this game. We had an awesome tailgate with Pats fans who seemed to outnumber Doll Fans 2-1. At least we got a nice buzz on because the Pats lost again 26-13.

2003 - I went to this game with my buddy, Ryan, whom I was also battling in fantasy football that week. We sat in the upper endzone and he was rubbing it in each time the scoreboard flashed scores from other games where his players were scoring points in our matchup. I had Tom Brady on my team and as the game went on, my fantasy team was making a comeback. Our match was close when the Pats game went to overtime. The Pats made a key defensive stop and then Brady hit Troy Brown for a 75-80 yard TD to not only win the game but give me the W in my fantasy matchup. It was awesome and one of the best times I can remember having with Ryan. He passed away 5 years later. I still think about him all the time. He was a great friend.

2004 - The Pats/Dollfans game fell on a Monday night this year. A buddy of mine and I got to the game early and got the fire going to cook some dinner and drink some beers. It was a good thing we had a nice fire going because it was the coldest night I can remember in South Florida. At kickoff it was 52 degrees and there was a ton of wind. We used the fire to keep warm and had 2-3 layers on! Sure, it was nothing like a snow game at Foxboro but for Miami it was cold! We scored killer seats for this game about 5 rows up on the 40 yard line and sat there with our hands going numb as they clenched beer after beer. The Pats went up 28-17 about halfway thru the 4th quarter and my buddy, who had driven us to the game, wanted outta that stadium like a typical shitty Doll Fan. I laid into him as we walked to the car for being a shitty fan and as we opened the doors the stadium goes nuts. The Dollfans had scored but botched the 2-point try and were down 6. As we drove South on 93, Brady threw an interception and Derrius Thompson (I'll never forget that jobber beating us) scored the game winning TD. "THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE EARLY!!!", I yelled at my friend the rest of the way home even though I was glad to not have had to deal with the loss in person.

2005 - I get to see my 2nd Pats win as they take the game 23-16. Heath Evans, a former Dollfan, starts for the Pats at RB even though he's a FB and has a great game. This was also the first time the Pats would see Nick Saban as coach of the Dollfans. It was also the last.

2006 - The Pats played the Dollfans on my birthday this year and I scored great tickets for me and an old friend of mine from back home. The game, however, will forever be remembered by me as the "Birthday Beatdown". The Patriots lost 21-0 in a horrible game. It was like I was a Patriot out in a boat on my birthday and a dolphin jumped out of the water and over my boat, taking a crap on my birthday cake in the process. It sucked.

2007 - Redemption. For as bad of a beatdown as 2006 was for the Patriots, they more than made up for it in this game. Tom Brady threw 6 touchdowns with 2 going to former Dollfan, Wes Welker, and 2 being lobbed up in the air for Randy Moss. Both Welker and Moss also had 100+ yards in this game. The Pats would go on to break a bunch of records this year with an undefeated regular season and nearly a perfect season. I still don't care what any Doll Fan who clings to the past says - 18-1 in the year 2007 is still more impressive than 17-0 in 1972. I was at the Super Bowl when the Giants defeated the Patriots on a lucky heave and catch and that would've sucked more than the "Birthday Beatdown" had it not been for the insane time I had out there.

2008 - Tom Brady was injured and knocked out for the season on the opening drive of the first game of the season. Matt Cassell came to Miami and led the Patriots to a blowout 48-28 victory, throwing for over 400 yards with 3 TD passes to Moss. I got really shitfaced at this game and that's about all I remember haha.

2009 - Disappointment. The Pats shot themselves in the foot this game. Belichick overcoached and the players underperformed after going up by 14 on a bomb to Moss (one that I called before the snap) and a TD run by Kevin Faulk in the first half. They led 21-10 after a lucky pass caught by Sam Aiken led to a TD but then blew a number of chances to score as the Dollfans crept back into the game and eventually won 22-21. Davone Bess had a great game and looked like the Dollfans version of Wes Welker in this game.

2010 - This year I was nervous about the game. The Patriots defense is abysmal this year and although the Dollfans offense doesn't impress me, I figured they would score easily and that their D would play strong and give Brady trouble all night. We tailgated a good 4 hours for this game and sucked down many beers. I couldn't have been more wrong about feeling nervous that the Pats would lose. They won in a blowout 41-14 with Randy Moss not even catching one pass. It was all defense and special teams. The Pats would trade away Moss 2 days later to the Vikings and the Dollfans would appropriately fire their special teams coach.

Wow, nine years and 10 games of Patriots and Doll Fans. My record at Dollfan Stadium/Landshark Stadium/Sun Life Stadium is an even 5-5. Looking forward to breaking that tie next year!

*Out of all teams in all sports, I don't think there is a team I hate more than the Dollfans and that's coming from a Red Sox fan with extreme dislike for the Yankees and their fans. I HATED Dan Marino growing up. Not because he beat my team but because I thought he was an asshole. Every time he would throw an interception or fumble, he would always yell at his teammates. It was never his fault. I also can't stand the majority of the Doll Fans and can't believe they would enjoy that moniker of fandom. They are fair weather fans and most have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to their own team. Just a sad group of fans. Not all but many of them. They also cling to the "perfect season" and bring it up whenever they feel the need to pretend how much their current team doesn't suck.

Wow, Good People In Miami

2010-08-27T21:58:00.000-04:00

I'm blow away by an event that has transpired over the past 2 days. I arrived home from work yesterday and got my mail and found I had a letter from the Traffic Citations department of Miami. At first I thought it might have been those new video cameras in Coral Gables that had busted me doin' a "California Roll thru a stop sign or something but when I opened it up I found a parking ticket inside. ""WTF?", was the only thought that entered my mind. Not that I'm immune to parking tickets by any means. I get them occasionally when I don't have change or something. This one was different though. I knew I didn't have my car that day.

I went online and found out where the ticket was issued. It was a place I'd only been to once. I had turned in my car that morning at Bimmer Shop, a BMW repair shop located caddy corner from Braman BMW. I had wires on both tail lights short out and needed to replace the whole damn panel. Bimmer Shop repaired it and did a great job. In fact, I was impressed with how nice everyone that worked there was and that they completed the work within hours. However, I guess at some point they had to move my car to a parking spot (their place isn't enormous) and while it was there it was ticketed. I'm assuming they took the ticket and intended to pay it but forgot or something because I never saw it. I knew nothing about it until I got the late notice yesterday in the mail.

I left a voicemail and sent and email to their office because it was after hours. I also called the next morning. The girl who answered the phone was really nice and had just listened to my message. She asked for my tag number and said they would take care of it. Most of the time in Miami this means you have to call the person every day to remind them to do it. Not this company. She called me back within 10 minutes and let me know the ticket had been paid. I couldn't believe it.

Bimmer Shop will definitely be recommended to any and everyone I know. They can do body work on any auto and mechanical work on any BMW and they do a really good job in a short amount of time. The people in both the office and shop are friendly and they showed me that they will make amends to any mistakes they make. Good stuff all around.

"For a minute there...I lost myself."

2010-08-04T01:51:00.002-04:00

Those lyrics from Radiohead's "Karma Police" couldn't better describe the events that transpired around 4:45pm at my workplace today. After years of snide comments, insults, misrepresentations, mountains of disrespect, and casting it all aside, I couldn't accept it anymore. I lost it.

I can't remember ever being that angry ever in the thirty-two years of mornings I've been blessed enough to wake up for. Sure, there have been times where I've been angry but never teetering on the edge of physically assaulting someone without following through with it. At least when I'd get into a fight there would be anger leading up to it but knowing that a scrap would end things right then and there made it easier to not be so angry if that makes sense. Even if I wasn't the victor (and believe me, I've taken my fair share of shots) at least my feelings were communicated in a way that was easy to understand. As time aged on I sought out the path of more reason, telling myself that there was nothing worth getting so worked up about. I let things go and it worked.

But there I was at 4:45pm, hands shaking as rage coursed through my veins causing them to pop out of my forehead and neck, turning my face tomato red. I removed myself from the situation three times because I felt as if I couldn't trust myself to stay cool and, no matter how good it would've felt to communicate my feelings physically, that the repercussions in the end would not have justified the means. Unfortunately, that just fanned the flames. This was my job, my means of living life, and that was being used as leverage against me. I felt trapped. I felt owned.

My buttons had been pressed for years but this time the "out of order" light didn't illuminate. Action was getting reacquainted with reaction. I took all my frustration and anger and I let it go in a verbal way, refusing to give in and turn the other cheek. I didn't curse (I'm still in shock I was able to do that) but instead chose to finally let all my feelings fly with the understanding that my little share session could result in my termination. I didn't care. I was not going to take one more ounce of disrespect and I was there to make sure everyone knew that.

In the end I was a little disappointed that I blew my stack because in a way I felt as if I'd lost the mild mannered person I'd worked so hard to become. Overall, however, I was proud. I was proud of myself for taking a stand, even if it was potentially my final stand. I'd rather starve than feel owned like that. After all, at the end of the day I report to myself, not a boss, not friends, not family, not God. Me.

Wow, something's wrong with me

2010-07-14T13:11:00.000-04:00

I love to gamble. I gamble on sports occasionally, but my real love is the casino. Lately, I've been hitting the blackjack tables but my real love is playing craps. Nothing beats the camaraderie of a table full of people exploding with glee when a point is made or when a shooter gets hot and rolls for awhile. I'm not a big gambler because I like to play for awhile and don't want to get busted early. My conservatism also comes with a slight whiff of responsibility, you know, just in case I get busted. Besides, I gamble because it is fun. I don't gamble like it's a second job because one job is enough for me. Knowing all this, you would think I would be excited to head to Vegas for a week on a basically all expenses paid trip? Truth is, I'm really not that excited.

Gambling has been a real bitch to me ever since 2008 when I raked in about $8500 in winnings on four trips, the biggest being $3200 on my last trip of the year. Since that epic year I haven't walked away a winner on a gambling trip. It's been about two years of losing that has gotten into my head. Yes, I gamble because it is fun but, for crying out loud, losing all the time kinda takes away from the fun. And by "kinda" I mean "majorly". I attribute most of the losses to playing more blackjack than usual after hitting big a few times in 2008. Blackjack can be a very frustrating game. When you constantly get dealt 12-16, the worst hands to be dealt, it's demoralizing. I also blame my decline on my decision to gamble at the Hard Rock in Fort Lauderdale. That place is full of losers and I think their funk has rubbed off on me. The final piece of blame lies in my attitude when I get to the tables. I catch myself nervous about losing and feeling cursed instead of saying, "Win or lose, who gives a crap, let's have some fun!"

On my last trip to Vegas in April of this year, I couldn't believe that I spent less than 30 minutes gambling on my entire trip! And that was a 4 night stay! I think it was good for me though. I got back to having fun in Vegas the old fashioned way, with good ol' alcohol and partying. Maybe that's what I needed? A kickass time in Sin City without gambling to boost my spirits and get back to having fun in Vegas. With a pocket full of cash and a flight that leaves soon, I guess it's only a matter of time until I find out.

Dear Joe Garcia

2010-06-01T10:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Joe Garcia,

Today, for the THIRD TIME I had to send you ANOTHER REQUEST to stop sending me your spam email about your campaign. What does it take to get it through your thick head that I do not wish to be solicited by you? STOP SENDING ME EMAILS ABOUT YOUR CAMPAIGN!!!

There is now absolutely NO WAY I AM VOTING FOR YOU, douchebag.

Things That Puzzle Me

2010-05-27T14:31:00.000-04:00

Rick at South Florida Daily Blog posted a link yesterday to a website that reviews the most disgusting fat-laden dishes at some of the more popular eateries in the US. With his post he included this image...

Slightly disturbing, wouldn't you say? What puzzles me is...how does this person take a dump? I mean, that chair is clearly bigger than a toilet and it's practically being swallowed by that giant ass. Maybe they make over-sized toilets for over-sized people? Or maybe the person has to spread their butt cheeks around the bowl to drop some cable? That can't be comfortable and I would imagine that an ass that big would basically devour a toilet. What about wiping? That must be difficult and messy. I suppose they could use a bidet but it would have to have the strength of a fire hose to get in there. I can imagine dingleberries are probably an issue too. Their laundry is probably filled with undies that have huge bacon strips in them.

This puzzles me but it also makes me crack up. I am my own best audience :)

Arizona - A Real Problem But What's the Solution?

2010-05-07T09:44:00.000-04:00

The state of Arizona has been all over the media lately for the implementation of a law that aims to identify, prosecute, and deport illegal immigrants. The problem with the law is that it requires anyone and everyone to carry immigration papers on their persons in case an officer of the law asks to see them. In a nutshell, it's racial profiling and Hispanics are the targets.

I am a firm believer in the fact that the United States of America has a serious illegal immigration problem. I also believe that something needs to be done to remedy the situation. Digging ditches and building walls is only a band-aid fix. Walls can be scaled or tunneled under and ditches can be crossed. The other day, I was having a conversation with my boss, a stout Republican who leans pretty far right, about the situation in Arizona. He was all for it which I was slightly surprised about but then again not really. I agreed with him that illegal immigration is a problem and denies legal citizens jobs but made the point that the law is basically racial profiling and that I think that isn't right. He asked, "Ok, then what's the solution?" I had no answer.

So, for everyone who gets on their soapbox and bellows about this Arizona immigration law and the injustice it has caused, I have one question... What's the solution?

Life In the Hands of Strangers

2010-03-22T06:39:00.000-04:00

This morning I was up at 4:15am and headed down to the lobby of my hotel to catch a ride to the airport. I was just outside of Charlotte and had a 7am flight to Memphis, so I scheduled a ride for 5am. I got down to the lobby at 4:55am and found the driver, Jerry, waiting for me which was a nice surprise since usually these services run a little late. After helping me with my bags, Jerry got us going. It was early but both of us were wide awake so we made small talk about golf as we made our way up the on ramp of I-85 South.

About 10 minutes into our ride, we passed an 18-wheeler who was in the center lane. We were in the right lane. The next thing I knew, the semi clipped our car on the rear driver's side, sending us into a skid. Jerry jammed on the brakes as we skidded across two lanes heading for the cement divider. Our car had done a 180 and I noticed we were going to hit the wall on my side, right by my door. Luckily, Jerry was able to control the car enough so that we hit the wall at the back bumper of my side and the impact was minimal. We were somewhat safe.

Jerry asked if I was ok and I told him I was fine. The funny part was that I was a little scared at first but it didn't last long. I knew we were going to hit the wall but I knew it wouldn't be bad. My fear was erased at impact and a new fear set in - the fear of missing my flight and having to cancel all of my appointments for the day. That's pretty effed up. Jerry called the police and then called his co-worker to come meet us and get me to the airport. In that short span of about five minutes the driver of the 18-wheeler, who had originally pulled over, took off.

I was uncomfortable with our position because we were facing oncoming traffic on a highway. I asked if the car would start and Jerry gave it a shot. It started up and he straightened us out and then called highway patrol to get them on the lookout for the trucker that hit us. We surveyed the damage on the car and it didn't look that bad. When traffic died down for a minute, I said we should try to get to a safer spot on the other side of the road and Jerry agreed. The car was in good enough shape to get us across the highway to the breakdown lane where we were able to stay safe until the police arrived.

The patrolman took our info and had us write up a statement explaining what had happened. I wrote a nice detailed description because I really wanted to make sure that Jerry was not found at fault. It definitely wasn't his fault. I was also grateful that his instincts kept us from really getting smashed up and that he had called and arranged for a co-worker to get me to the airport so I could have a chance of making my flight.

I'm sitting at my gate now, safe and sound thanks to a stranger. It makes me think about how I basically put my life in the hands of strangers every day on the road, whether it be a cabbie, driver, or pilot, trusting that they will keep us both safe. The driver got me here safe but not without difficulty. Hopefully the pilot will do the same!

Great Letter to Marc Sarnoff

2010-03-11T19:23:00.000-05:00

I read this on the Coconut Grove Grapevine today and urge others to read it as well. I've actually met Liz Goings before and she put together a solid letter regarding this ridiculous "don't feed the homeless" campaign that is being tossed around and is totally absurd. Here is the link to the letter. Grapevine isnt taking comments so feel free to leave em here but dont be a dick and make disparaging remarks. That aint gonna fly here.

And for what its worth, I'm predicting that there will be a bad hurricane season for us in Miami this year. I base this on no knowledge of weather systems but rather on history. The last time I can remember it being this frosty outside for as long a period of time as it has been this year was the year we had Wilma and Katrina. Maybe I'm wrong. As much as I'd enjoy a Cat 1 or 2, I wouldnt wanna see a Cat 5 here, especially with this city in the condition its in now.

On the Road: Tacos El Gordo, National City, CA

2010-03-10T11:36:00.005-05:00

It was bound to happen sooner or later... I posted here what I meant to post at Blind Tastes. Follow the jump for the correct post here.

Dear Chinese Porno Link Guy

2010-03-09T21:16:00.000-05:00

You have been posting in the comment section of my blog for almost a year now. While the Chinese characters look cool and although I have no idea what they actually say, I find it really annoying and really wish you would get the hint and stop posting them. I can't imagine that my blog really gets that much traffic for you to find it worthwhile to put your porno links in the comment sections of my posts, nor can I imagine that anyone even clicks on them. It's really a waste of your time and mine.

A few days ago, I admired your efforts to be tricky and use "donna" as an alias to disguise your identity when you left your Chinese porno links. I even laughed at the fact that you thought that would work. Silly Chinese porno link guy, I get emails when comments are posted and I noticed you felt the need to comment on 11 of my posts. That was a big red flag. The other red flag was that, other than the letters "AV" at the start, your comment was all Chinese characters, thus giving you away.

I really don't want to moderate comments because that is a pain in the ass, so I'm going to ask that you please stop posting in the comments section of my blog posts. I will delete the comments every time, so find somewhere else to post your links to Chinese porno. Thanks, buddy.

The End of the Road?

2010-02-27T09:12:00.001-05:00

After posting about my airport travels the other day and receiving a comment from "miaexile" where he/she used their hippie power to suggest I had negative "aura" because I, like 99% of people who live here, find MIA to be a piece of crap, I thought about this blog and its purpose.

In truth, the only reason I really wrote that post was just to have something to write and to keep the blog current. The more I thought about Blind Mind blog, the more I noticed that its really just a big ball of negative energy, a place where I vent frustrations and occasionally provide something of substance. I had a feeling that I'd get an email or something from my buddy Rick over at South Florida Daily Blog asking what happened to the blog and sure enough, I did. He was surprised to see it gone and suggested a farewell post, you know, in case there were any actual readers out there haha.

I thought about it and I've made the decision to bring the blog back. Yup, call me the Brett Favre of blogging. I realized that I've had this thing for many years and I still get decent traffic and comments from time to time, even if they are from douchebags or weird Chinese porno links. I'm going to make the effort to provide more substance and less negative, maybe the occasional humorous travel story, or product review of something I like or find useful. Yup, I'm back. Thanks for reading.

Up In the Air...Again

2010-02-26T12:45:00.001-05:00

A few thoughts and circumstances I encountered on this latest adventure flying the friendly skies...

Airports really need to get on the same goddamn page. It's really interesting how what is necessary for the goose isn't necessary for the gander when one goes through the process of checking in for a flight and getting to one's departing gate. At some airports, you can use a kiosk to check in and then wait in line to check your bags and then the ticket counter employees put your bags on a conveyor belt behind them and off they go. At other airports like MIA, you go through the same process but then have to wheel your bags over to some other area for them to be screened by security even though there is a moving conveyor belt behind the ticket counter employees. I'm sure there is probably a good reason for this, besides MIA being the most ass-backward airport in the country, but it just seems really dumb and a pain in the ass. Every airport should do it the same way. It would greatly reduce confusion for the traveler that gets the deer-in-the-headlights look because their originating airport didn't do it this way and now they are confused on their return flight. Kinda hard to imagine why this is confusing but, for some reason, air travel makes people really, really dumb. Another inconsistency comes at the security gates. Ok, by now if you don't know that you need to remove all metal from your pockets and take off your shoes then you should be removed from the line and beaten senseless with a regulation-sized carry-on bag. That's simple stuff. The inconsistency that is annoying lies with airport security personnel who sometimes make you remove things from your pockets and sometimes don't. When I left MIA on my way north, I went thru my usual routine and removed everything from my persons that was metal. I left a chapstick in my pocket. The lady at security made a big fucking to-do about that and made me go back thru the metal detector and put the chapstick in a bin. You know, in case I had nuclear chapstick that would bring us all to our doom. At LGA (LaGuardia), I went thru security 3 times. The first time was for normal reasons and I made it through without issue (chapstick in pocket) but when I got to my gate and noticed I was still 3.5 hrs early (no other flights for standby) and there was no 1st class lounge, I doubled back and hit the next terminal over. I got through security there without issue as well, had a few gratis beers in the lounge along with some veggies and dip, then headed back to my terminal to go through security for the 3rd time and catch my flight. Here, I encountered the Security Nazi, you know, the dude who just likes to be a dick. I went through the metal detector and it didn't make a noise so I thought I was good. "Sir, I need you to go back. Do you have any metal in your pockets?", the S.N. said. "Nope", I replied before he noticed that nuclear chapstick in my pocket and made me remove it. I did without getting irritated thinking maybe the "empty pockets" thing was new and then headed back through the metal detector. Once again, no sound from the metal detector and once again this asshole stopped me and asked me to do it again. Now I was irritated. "Buddy, I do this almost every goddamn day. In fact, this is the 3rd time if gone through security at this airport and I'm doing nothing different. There's nothing setting off the metal detector. What's your problem?" He said something about me getting "four stars" as I walked through and that meant I had to go back. Eventually, I took my money clip (stainless steel that is travel approved doesn't set off metal detectors) and put it in a bin which reduced my "star count" and appeased the Security Nazi. I just wish airports would get on the same page with the same set of rules for each airport to eliminate delays and power trips by security.
Some people never cease to amaze me. Look, flight delays happen. Whether it be weather, equipment malfunctions, or whatever, shit happens. Contrary to what appears to be popular belief, the airline employees have NOTHING to do with this. My flight from LGA to BOS was delayed for 30 minutes and then another 1.5 hours. This one woman apparently thought that the poor girl at the counter was responsible and began bitching nonstop for a good 15 minutes before she finally stormed off having accomplished nothing but elevating her own blood pressure and looking like a total bitch. I thought it was kinda funny when the poor girl behind the counter went on break and the guy who replaced her decided to crush our spirits and let everyone know that although it said our flight would be leaving at 6:30p (1 hour late), we would actually be boarding at that time and then sitting on the runway for another hour. He got cussed out by what I imagine was his supervisor but I appreciated him telling the god honest truth.
Sometimes you gotta give a little clear direction. The plane I boarded on the aforementioned LGA to BOS flight was one of those smaller ones with two seats on the left side of the plane and one on the right as you board. These planes have tiny overhead bins but I know my briefcase fits in just fine. The guy in front of me was kind enough to let me put my briefcase up before he put up his jacket so we both could get our stuff in. As I put my briefcase up, the woman behind me with the annoying, whiny voice asked, "How come you couldn't gate check that so we could put our jackets up?" I kindly told her that my computer and some files were in there and that I needed to get some work done on the plane. Again she bitched, "You could take them out, you know." "Well, that's not gonna happen. Sorry.", I said as she continued to bitch about her stupid jacket. That's when I became irritated and gave some clear direction which got a clap from the woman next to me and sparked the guy behind me to say, "Forget it buddy, you can't win with people like that." The guy then guessed that I wasn't married but the bitchy woman thought he was talking to her and went off on a tirade about being married for 42 years. Guy behind me had the line of the night - "Man, that must be some luck your husband has." Later on the flight the bitchy woman and her annoying friend both ended up getting airsick and puked in the barf bag. Ain't karma a bitch?

The #1 Reason Why MIA Sucks

2010-02-15T17:55:00.000-05:00

It's the people who work there. Everyone has an attitude and that attitude sucks. It's like they think they're doing the public a big favor by working there. It's completely different than every other airport in the country and it's also the worst airport in the country. I feel bad that many people have to have their introduction to the USA by way of Miami International Airport. It's the worst airport in the country. Seriously. I think it was a year or two ago that somehow they got an award for best airport or most improved airport or something and it totally blew me away. The selection committee must have gone out and drank tequila into the early hours of the morning before finishing off with 1,000 rounds of bong hits and walking in to cast their votes.

Thanks for continuing to under-service, under-perform, and underachieve MIA. You suck.

An Oldie But A Goodie

2010-01-24T14:26:00.000-05:00

I was surfing the internet today and came across a link to a classic - cop and his wife eat pot brownies and then call 911 because they think theyre dying. Slays me every time!

Enjoy!

Getting Political for a Minute

2010-01-08T10:51:00.000-05:00

I read an interesting article today about a proposed tax hike of 10% on businesses in the indoor tanning service industry and it really dumbfounded me. I'm no expert when it comes to politics and policies, but wasn't the goal of the Obama administration to support small businesses? The indoor tanning service industry is about 99% comprised of small businesses! A tax of 10% is ridiculous.

They say that the idea is for the tax to support healthcare reform, you know, since indoor and outdoor tanning has been known to cause skin cancer. Ok, I can kinda see the point there but aren't there industries that contribute more dead weight to healthcare than a tanning bed? Look at the obesity rate in this country! Large corporations operating fast food chains are who I would point the tax finger at. Something tells me obesity and the many, many health issues that occur as a result of a person being obese probably end up controling more healthcare dollars than skin cancer. But I don't have the facts, its just a hunch.

I just thought the Obama administration was all about promoting American small businesses. If that is the case, as I'm positive it was during the election race, taxing an industry that is solely made up of small businesses doesn't make sense. A tax of 10% on this industry is a heavy one and could mean the closure of many of the small businesses that make up the industry. It's pretty hard to profit off of a tax when businesses fail as a result, isn't it? And when these businesses fail, what's next? Unemployment, that's what.

If someone can explain to me how this makes sense, please do. I'd love to hear it. Here is the link to the article. I will admit that I did get a little chuckle out of the right-wingers in the comment section that immediately claimed that this is a tax on white people.

Goodbye 2009, Hello 2010

2010-01-01T12:40:00.000-05:00

Each year around this time when I notch another year of existence under my belt, I like to stop and think about the past year, what I've accomplished, what I've learned, and what direction to take to progress forward. This year was a tough one for me both personally and professionally. It seemed like every time I got a little momentum going in my favor, I was knocked down to the ground and forced to start over. Ok, that's pretty normal. Life is a rollercoaster, after all, and my goal has always been to revel in the anxiety of the ups and joyfully scream like hell while going down. I guess this year I just got more motion sickness than usual and ended up puking my brains out a few times. It happens, I suppose.

At the same time, I also think that I shared more of myself than I ever have before in life and I'm pretty happy about that. Socially, you would never know it but there are a lot of things that I hide or am shy about. I can't really explain why, it's just the way I am. I've had a blog for over 3 years now and if you aren't a member of the South Florida blogosphere or don't happen to stumble upon it, you would never know. Many of my friends and pretty much all of my family have no idea that I write on this blog or my food blog. Why? Again, I have no idea. I guess I never think to share.

Well, I'm making it a goal for 2010 to share more of myself. I've already shown my food blog to my family and they were really surprised. My mom started telling all her friends and all that shit too haha. Yup, share more and accomplish more are my goals for 2010. I have some big plans for this year, some I hope to share with everyone as things come to light.

Wishing all the best in 2010 to all who read my blogs, share blogs of their own, and comment in the SoFL blogosphere. May this be your year to shine!

Up In the Air

2009-12-27T18:10:00.001-05:00

Went to see the new George Clooney movie, Up In the Air, with my folks and their friends yesterday. I thought it was a fantastic movie, one that made you think and one that definitely hit home with me. In many ways, my life is very similar to the character played by Clooney, always on the move, living out of a suitcase, finding the most efficient ways to travel, and at times somewhat emotionless, lonely, and isolated.

But hey, it's a job.

This movie made me stop and think for a second. My life moves fast, sometimes faster than I want it to. My lifestyle? Even faster. Living for every moment like it was my last, learning from all the trials and tribulations encountered on this rollercoaster we call "life", embracing all the power that is knowledge from lessons past on and lessons learned. These are the things that make us "wiser for the time" which made me think of this song, a favorite of mine by the Black Crowes.

"Ask me, 'Why another road song?' Funny but I bet you never left home."

It Hurts Every Sunday

2009-12-13T16:35:00.000-05:00

Ever make a bad decision that haunts you for a long time afterward? Well, I have. Back in week 9 of the NFL season, I traded Brandon Marshall off of my fantasy football team for Steve Slaton. Since then, Slaton has served as backup running back, become injured, and labeled out for the season. Marshall, on the other hand, has gone nuts scoring touchdowns and just broke an NFL record today with 21 catches. I lost 2 matchups as a result, games I would've won had I not made that trade. I may lose this week because of it too. I'd also be in 1st place in my league which awards about $3500 for the 1st place finisher at the end of the season. Now I'll be lucky to break even with a 4th place finish. I'm reminded of this every fucking Sunday. For this reason and this reason alone, I really cant wait for the NFL regular season to be over with.

I Have Found the Fountain of Youth!!

2009-12-10T19:29:00.000-05:00

Today I turned 32 years old. Yeah, I know. Big effin deal. The strangest thing just happened though. I just received my renewed drivers license from the DMV down here in good ol' Miami. Funny thing is that the picture that I took for my license when I was a young whippersnapper at 23 years of age is on my new license and its good until the year 2018!! I'll be FORTY ONE at that point!! I also had my eyesight fading away around the time that my former license was issued, so much so that I had to squint a little bit when they gave me the eye test when I went to get my first Florida license. I guess after you pass one vision test that you are grandfathered in to the "awesome eyesight" club!

It's so awesome knowing that I've found the Fountain of Youth that Ponce de Leon spent years looking for. And to think, all our buddy Ponce needed was a DMV...

Some Art Basel Luv

2009-12-06T00:18:00.001-05:00

Today I decided to head down to Wynwood to check out Chef Jeremiah Bullfrog's Gastropod for a late lunch. The triple decker slider stuffed with pork belly and the short rib hotdog did more than just cure my hunger pains, that's for damn sure. After stuffing my face, we walked around the Wynwood area and checked out various galleries and street art. I really enjoyed these street signs.

Dieting is un-American

Sobriety is un-American

When the Bombs Start A-Fallin', Dont Come A-Callin'!

As if you needed validation...sinner

Check out more cool photos of street art in Wynwood at my buddy @djkmia's flicker here

Quest for 50

2009-11-23T09:56:00.002-05:00

Travel, travel, travel. Seems like I'm always on the run (cue the Kravitz). This month has been pretty epic for travel though. Epic in the sense that this weekend I was able to knock off my third of the 14 untraveled states left on the list on my quest to visit all 50 of the United States.

I started November with 14 unvisited states left on my quest for 50, that number including Hawaii and Alaska. Earlier in the month I went to Tennessee and there aint no place I'd rather be (cue the Dead). Well, there are plenty of places I'd rather be but the bbq pulled pork sandwich I had at Golly Whoppers at least made me I was happy I was there at that point in time. I just wanted to make the Dead reference. A week later, I was headed to Minnesoooota, as the locals would pronounce it. Didnt really get to see the full Mall of America but I did have a few good meals, one being a burger that was almost better than the one I had at Burger & Beer Joint recently. This puppy had a burger patty with shredded lettuce, cheese, pulled pork, AND bacon on top of it!! My sales rep and I ate at a couple of sports bars out in Minnesota and the food was surprisingly good as was the service, something you never really get here in Miami.

The last state knocked off in November was Biloxi, Mississippi. This trip was pure pleasure though, no work involved. Why Biloxi? Good question. As I may have stated a few times on this blog, I love to gamble. The MGM group knows this because I have their players card and play often at their casinos when Im in Vegas. Well, they decided to mail me a postcard offering a free flight, transportation, and hotel for 2 nights for me and a companion to check out their Beau Rivage casino in Biloxi. At first I ignored it because it seemed like one of those "too good to be true" deals. Then, they called me and left a voicemail about the promo and sent another postcard. I called my cousin, who also loves gambling as much as I do, and asked him if he was down to go. They had also been sending him postcards and calls about the deal so we decided we would each take one of our buddies and head to Biloxi for a dudes weekend. I'm not going to go into detail but lets just say that it was a full weekend of over-the-top debauchery. Extravagant meals, a lot of drinking, and a lot of gambling. Oh, and I got shitfaced and fell asleep at a blackjack table for about 10 minutes which the casino staff all got a great laugh out of not only on that night but when they told me about it the next day as well. I had no recollection of that. Yay!

Biloxi was a great time with lots of hilarious memories. The casino was actually really nice and probably the closest outside-of-Vegas casino that I've been to that actually resembled a Vegas casino. The only buzzkill of the trip was that we didnt get to take a drive to New Orleans on Saturday, mainly because the rental car company had no vehicles but also because none of us were in any sort of position to drive, let alone sit in a car for 2 hours. Louisiana is one of the 11 states I now have left to visit. Wouldve been nice to knock that one off but oh well. There's always next year...

Untitled in B

2009-11-20T09:52:00.000-05:00

This one was posted over at my food blog, Blind Tastes, but I liked it and wanted to post it here since this site gets far more action from readers...

She was an elusive one, always busy when I spontaneously popped into the neighborhood. A real Miss Popular type and although I had grown tired of competing for her attention on previous attempts to meet her, I was willing to give it one last shot. Besides, my friends thought she was sexy as hell.

I planned to meet her at the bar. A friend of hers told me that the game would be on there so it was a perfect scenario for me. I watched as she moved around the bar, each patron sizing her up and dreaming about their favorite ways to dress her. She is hot after all. Most people get caught up in her her appearance and dress but not me. I like her with as little makeup as possible with plenty of exposed flesh and minimal accessories, though sometimes I like when she gets all dolled up in something sexy. I motioned to the bartender who sidled up and asked how he could assist me. Some intimate quality time with her was all I needed. It had been a long day and I was drained. She would help me find my inner peace again.

I sipped a bottle of suds to take the edge off while I waited for my chance to romance her. When one didn't cut it I popped a second while peeking at the game on TV, still waiting, growing more hungry to be with her. It was then that I saw her floating gracefully across the bar. She was advancing towards me, her chest slightly exposed to give everyone a view at what they would be missing while she was with me. To top it off, she was wearing one of those sexy signature outfits - a silky scarf of American cheese covered the prime angus flesh left exposed by her open sesame top, bacon dangling across her chest, with a bourbon bbq sauce by her side. I had heard that she called this outfit, "Thunder Road", and it was apparent that she came to bring the thunder.

With her now in front of me, I wasted no time on foreplay and chose to ignore her skinny fries. Instead, we just went at it. Right there. At the bar. In front of everybody. She squealed with pleasure as I devoured her, each bite into her flesh releasing her seasoned juices, sending them dripping down my chin. Her bacon was a perfect balance of crisp and chew, making me lust for her even more while the bourbon bbq sauce kept things sensually sweet. At one point she submitted herself to a sprinkling of Tabasco, letting me know she was there to please. And damn did she wear it well. She shuddered as I finished her off, leaving nothing but a trail of bbq sauce dripping over her exhausted skinny fries.

Our passionate affair ended almost as quickly as it had began. A wink of a last bite of her sesame buns and she was gone. I tossed the bartender a fifty and told him to keep the change. She had been worth waiting for. I grabbed my beer, took a final swig, and then headed for the door. I'm not sure when I'll have the chance to see her again, or if she'll even be available, but I know that there will be a "next time"...

Many, many more.

The Thunder Road burger can found at:
Burger & Beer Joint
1766 Bay Rd
Miami Beach, FL 33139-1414
(305) 672-3287

New American Airlines Terminal at MIA

2009-11-16T06:52:00.000-05:00

As the shuttle pulled up to the terminal, I thought the shuttle driver had chosen to drop us off on the baggage claim level. It just didnt look right - no cars jammed into the curb dropping/picking up passengers, no employees crossing the streets to get to the employee bus, no typical mess that is Terminal C/D at MIA. After looking around and confirming we were indeed on the departure level, I realized that this was the long-awaited Terminal A/B open for business.

American Airlines now has its own area all to itself and its huge. Check-in counters as far as the eye can see. Of course, everything still manages to be a total clusterfuck with First Class being all the way at the end of the hall and multiple departure terminals and security checkpoints. I checked in at the First Class counter and was told my gate would be E2. Great... That meant I had to hoof it all the way to the farthest departure terminal from where I was at. The woman behind the counter told me to use the Terminal E security line in case the others were full. The C/D line was pretty short, so I went to pass there but I was stopped by the typical rude MIA employee who told me to use the D/E line because it would be "faster". Yeah, OK. Terminal E is the International Terminal and its usually mobbed this early in the morning. Lucky for me it wasn't too bad and I made it thru in about 15 minutes.

It was nice to see a Starbucks up and running in the new concourse check-in area. Another one looked to just have been finished and setup right outside the old Terminal D check-in area that now sits empty. Now if they could only get some Starbucks on the OTHER side of security. I was flying out of Terminal E and the breakfast options were Pizza Hut or some Cuban pastries. I'd rather starve than eat that crap. Not that Starbucks is that much better for breakfast but at least they make a decent chai tea.

Another nice new feature at the American Airlines counter was labeling bags as "Priority" for those of us who hold status with American. Waiting for bags at MIA takes FOREVER, so hopefully this miraculously speeds up the process of retrieving bags upon landing. I'm waiting to see what happens when I land in Minnesota, today's travel destination, to see if the labels have any effect on bag retrieval there.

That is if the bags make it there, of course...

Dear City of Miami

2009-11-06T00:21:00.002-05:00

Thanks for closing 95S when over 1000 cars are trying to get home at 11pm. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Day, Another Flight, Another Lost Bag

2009-11-02T22:37:00.000-05:00

Something didn't feel right when I began the check-in process at the Delta self-service counter today at MIA. You see, I usually fly American Airlines because they have a hub at MIA with direct flights to just about every city I need to fly to. I hate layovers. Not only are they a waste of time but they provide another chance for the airline to let the traveler down.

Another reason I fly American Airlines whenever I can has to due with my frequent flyer status. I've hit Platinum 2 years in a row now and may even hit Executive Platinum this year (I'd easily nail EP status if I didnt fly direct everywhere as flights with layovers get you more miles for your sacrifice in time). With that status comes a waiver of baggage fees, aka "the biggest consumer ripoff in the past 5 years". Even though my company picks up this baggage fee, it pisses me off that such a thing even exists. Let's see, the airlines were losing a boatload of money and claimed rising oil prices had a lot to do with it and figured that baggage gave the aircraft a lesser mpg, knew people need clothes when they travel, and decided to offset their costs by charging for baggage. That may not be exactly how it went down but I'm sure its pretty effin close. Well, oil prices have come way down yet we still get raped with baggage fees. Thank you, Sir! May I have another?!?!

So there I stood, looking at the kiosk and wondering if it would be possible to check my bag of clothing and carry on both my briefcase and my bag of product samples. In the past 2 months, my luggage had been lost twice which resulted in me walking into a meeting with a customer with plenty to tell but nothing to show. In other words, it was a waste of a meeting and I looked like an asshole. This would save my company $25 and ensure that I had my samples just in case my luggage was lost. Physically, I knew I could. Morally, I struggled with the decision. I can't stand the assholes who place their own well being above others on airplanes. The people who cram 2-3 bags into the overhead are said assholes. I didn't want to be that guy, the very guy I despise. So, even though I had reservations about checking the bag of samples, I gave into my morals and did it anyways.

I was on 4 hours of sleep, having gone to bed around 1am and gotten up at 5am to be at the airport by 6am for a 730am flight. I was hoping to sleep on the flight from Miami to Atlanta but a screaming baby prevented that from happening. The flight from Atlanta to Chattanooga was delayed but I wasn't surprised since delayed flights and ATL airport are kinda one in the same. Luckily, my appointment wasnt until 130p so I still would have time to grab my bags and a bite to eat with my sales rep before heading to see my customer. Or so I thought...

The airport in Chattanooga is tiny so the baggage carousel started less than 10 minutes after we landed. Now we pray. I was relieved when I saw my bag of clothing come out. Just one more bag and I'd be on my way...

That bag never came.

The carousel stopped and I was pissed. I'd just paid $50 to have Delta lose my bag and there was nothing I could do about it. Nope, can't get upset because that isn't going to do anything. All I could do was suppress my rage and meander over to the baggage office to report the problem.

Apparently taking 2 bags off of a plane in Atlanta and putting them on another is a difficult feat because, according to the Delta employee at the baggage counter, this happens almost daily. I took my claim number and hoped the bag would be on the next flight which was due to land at 120p, 10 minutes before my meeting...great. I ended up being an hour late and thus had to rush. I don't know about Delta Airlines but my time is very valuable to me, especially when it comes to doing my job. My brain was working overtime trying to not be pissed about being charged for bags only to have them lost. I decided I would resort to writing another letter to the airline which would most likely result in me being placated with a $100 voucher for use on a future flight. Yay...

So what can be done about being forced to pay for baggage on flights? As I see it, you can add $50-$100 to whatever "discount" airfare you are able to find on a flight so it really isn't a good fare. It's absurd how 9/11 security (fear) initiatives and the price of oil are holding the American consumer hostage when it comes to leisure or business travel. There has got to be a solution. In fact, I know there is a solution but the airlines are just too f**king selfish to take the necessary steps to making that solution a reality. But that's a whole separate discussion for another time. Until then, I guess we just have to grin and bear it while the airlines take advantage of us.

Separating Belly and Mind

2009-10-25T16:48:00.000-04:00

When I first started this blog I really had no idea what the focus would be so I took a Seinfeldian approach and made this a blog about nothing. I've posted about my travels, life in South Florida, random issues, and a lot about food. I never really liked having zero focus but at the same time I liked that I wasn't limited to posting about one certain theme. The freedom that I gave myself to write about anything and everything eventually led to me realizing that the thing I post most frequently about is food-related. With that said, I decided to start up a new blog with a culinary focus called Blind Tastes. This blog will primarily cover my culinary adventures in Miami and South Florida but there may be an occasional post about food I experience on the road in my travels. After all, I've never been one to limit myself. I've ported all my food-focused posts from this blog over to Blind Tastes and plan to put up new posts regularly as I also figure out how to make the new blog not look as boring and crappy as this one haha.

So, stay tuned and check out Blind Tastes from time to time. Ciao!

No More Forkin Around - Iron Fork Miami Returns Better Than Ever

2009-10-16T23:25:00.004-04:00

Last night, I met up with some good friends at the New Times Iron Fork event at the Bank of America building in Downtown Miami. It was the 2nd year in a row that Id decided to check out this event. Last year, was kind of a buzzkill. The event was held at the Miami Science Museum and everything was crammed. The stage for the competition was nearly impossible to get to and the event was vastly oversold so it took forever to get a taste from any of the booths. I met Paula (of Mango & Lime fame) along with her husband D at this event last year, so we teamed up again to dominate the event again this year. You can check out her blog at the link I just provided for pics since I slacked on the pic taking front.

Having the event at the Bank of America building was an AWESOME move. Limiting ticket sales also proved to be a huge win. We arrived at around 6pm and, after some awkward "we're not ready to open the ropes at 5:55pm" moments, were free to roam about and sample the various wares of the 40+ restaurants that participated in the event. Naturally, I spotted the Presidente booth outside on the deck and we made a b-line over there to get the night started. The outside deck was a huge hype. Nothing beats an outdoor event in Miami. It was there, after sucking down a cool Presidente, that I stumbled upon the Whisk Gourmet Food & Catering booth and all of its BBQ Pork awesomeness. Their sauce is the boss! Its a play on the South Carolina mustard-based BBQ that I love with enough vinegar to pack a little punch. This would be my first dish of the night and one that only one other dish would overcome.

After making our way around the various booths at the event, I was full. Many dishes were mediocre but generously portioned. Nothing was bad which is more than I can say for the event last year. The dish of the night for me was the goat bits with spicy dressing from Tap Tap. A healthy portion of goat doused with some habanero/vinegar sauce rocked my world. I couldve eaten 4 portions of this easily but I managed to keep control of myself. Another dish that I thought kicked major ass was the macaroon with duck mousse and cured duck breast offered up by Au Pied de Cochon. Im not a fan of sweet dishes but the savoriness of the duck mousse and the saltiness of the cured duck breast was a nice counterbalance to the sweetness of the macaroon. I had 2 of these puppies.

The actual Iron Fork competition was kinda cool but once again it was an afterthought. The stage was located in an awkward area where it was tough to see what was going on though it was easy to smell what was going on. In the end, Chef Critchley of Area 31 took down Giancarla Bodoni of Escopazzo and was awarded with a cruise as a prize.

Overall, I thought the Iron Fork event was a vast improvement from last years event due to the location and limited ticket sales. Everyone seemed to have a great time and every participant got great exposure. The only downfall was the band who played the event that sounded like kareoke gone wrong and the jazz band whose instruments played well but whose lame dj scratchin records made the sound awkward as hell. Hats off to New Times though for putting on a nice event that was well thought out and planned properly to allow maximum enjoyment by all.

Your Florida Tax Dollars Hard At Work

2009-09-22T17:31:00.002-04:00

Sheriff deputies and supervisors pull off a drug bust in Polk County, near Lakeland. They were so proud of themselves, they apparently felt they needed some time to kick back and enjoy a few games of Wii Bowling...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Nice to know my flight is in good hands...

2009-09-22T07:23:00.004-04:00

Today, as I handed my ticket to the gate agent to board my flight, she asked me if I was ready and willing to help in the case of an emergency because I was in an exit row. I always find this silly but I guess its protocol. Well, you can only imagine how comforting it is to know that this woman is on my flight and has been moved up to the exit row. She is clearly ready to rip off a 65 pound door in the case of an emergency being that she is about 75 years old, walks with a cane, doesn't speak a lick of English, and is coughing like she has a case of the black lung. Thanks American Airlines for looking out for the best interest of your passengers' safety.

Miami Construction SUCKS!!

2009-09-11T09:27:00.004-04:00

This is gonna be a quick, frustrated post. This city is the absolute worst when it comes to road construction. The Miami Brain Trust feels that the appropriate time for road construction is during peak hours of commute. Im so sick and tired of taking 195 West only to find 95 South closed, forcing me to have to drive North to then turn around and go South. HURRY UP AND FINISH THE GODDAMN INTERCHANGE ALREADY!!! ITS BEEN WAAAAAAY TOO LONG!!! And since things take forever in Miami because the unions and developers, etc like to milk the clock for as much as they can, maybe it would be wise to START CONSTRUCTION AFTER MIDNIGHT LIKE THEY DO IN OTHER CITIES?!?!?!?!?! WORK OVERNIGHT, NOT DURING PEAK TIMES (which in Miami happen to run until midnight because we have no transit system)!!!!!!!!!!!

Its a good thing I dont own a gun...

Top Ten Reasons Why I Eat @ Michael's Genuine Food & Drink Weekly

2009-09-10T23:15:00.000-04:00

I am a creature of habit, especially when it comes to eating. No, I dont eat the same thing for lunch or dinner but I do like to have a "short list" of places I like to eat out at frequently depending on what kind of a food mood I'm in. If Im feeling lazy and want a light dinner, I walk a few blocks into the Grove for dinner at Jaguar. If I dont mind a drive to Sunny Isles for a good meal, I'll head up to NAOE for some Japanese or maybe stop in for some killer comfort food at Neomi's. There are a few other places in the rotation too. Im spontaneous and really dont plan on eating out so much but rather just make a last minute decision...many, many times during the week. I often dine solo so I usually like a place that has a good bar to go with good food. That's why more often than not you can expect to find me at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink in the Design District. The food brought me there but there are many other things about the restaurant that keep me going back at least once weekly. Here are my top ten reasons why Michael's Genuine Food & Drink is atop my dining out rotation:

10.) Hot Dishes Served Hot - One of my pet peeves when dining out is receiving a dish that is supposed to be hot only to find its either become overcooked from sitting under a heat lamp or that its become lukewarm or cold. At MGF&D, one of the first things that I noticed on my original visit was that if you order a hot dish, that dish is coming straight off the line directly to your table. They execute things well and get the dishes plated for the entire table in one full swing and Ive yet to be disappointed with food temperature.

9.) Local Focus - I like when local businesses attempt to support other local businesses and economies. Lots of fresh seafood served at MGF&D is sourced from our local Florida waters and indicated on the menu. A pan seared local kingfish with farro, chorizo, grilled lemon, cilantro and saffron aioli remains one of my all-time favorite dishes there. Another thing I like about restaurants that attempt to use as many local ingredients as possible is the change said ingredients promote on the menu. Ive yet to see that kingfish dish again but there have been similar renditions with other local fish that Ive enjoyed simply because of their subtle differences with that kingfish dish. You also cant beat local heirloom tomatoes served with burrata when in season as well as other herbs, fruits, and veggies sourced locally from places like Paradise Farms.

8.) Killer Tunes - I'm a huge fan of jazz, acid jazz, funk, blues, and rock n' roll. Michael's Genuine Food & Drink always has every one of those genres except rock n' roll playing in the background and thats a good thing. I believe that the music just pumps from the Chef's iPod all day. He's got a killer collection too with a lot of jazz jam bands just establishing rhythms and then soloing over them instrument by instrument. The music gives the restaurant a nice upbeat vibe without being overly loud and intrusive. Its easy to maintain a conversation with the music playing as there are rarely any words in any of the songs/jams and the volume is at a good level.

7.) Ballsy Menu - Im an adventurous eater and I like that Chef Schwartz isnt afraid to throw items like Crispy Pig Head, Pig Ear Salad, cheeks of all varieties, and a few variations of Sweetbreads on the menu. I've heard of people deciding not to eat there because of seeing pig head on the menu and not being open to what that may be, or realizing that they dont have to order it. Hey, it's not for everyone. I also heard of a couple who saw Tempura Sheepshead on the menu and freaked out and left. They apparently didnt know that was a fish from Florida waters...haha. Either way, having these items on the menu for people like me to enjoy and knowing it may turn others off is ballsy and much appreciated.

6.) Hot Restaurant, Hot Women - Apparently, beautiful women are not affected by things like pig head appearing on the menu at MGF&D because they flock to this place in droves. Blondes, brunettes, tall, short, cute-hot, smokin-hot, well-dressed women on a consistent basis and they come for the food. Name your type of woman and she can probably be found there. I even saw the beautiful Halle Berry in there on one visit. Beautiful women in the room just make a phenomenal meal that much more enjoyable, ya know?

5.) Bar Selection - Michael's Genuine has a great bar selection, especially when it comes to the sweet nectar I covet most - bourbon. The bar manager does an awesome job of sourcing high quality spirits and switches things up a bit here and there to keep the spirits menu fresh. Even the beer selections are a step away from the norm. This is the only bar in Miami where I've found Eagle Rare 17yr bourbon which has become my new favorite to sip neat. Lately, they have also had an incredible special on Krug Cuvee NV bubbly at $165/bottle which is nearly half off prices I've seen elsewhere in Miami. A 23yr Black Maple Hill rye (and its cousin, the 8yr bourbon) are also amongst my favorites. Having trouble keeping up with all of this? Not to worry. MGF&D recently added a spirits menu complete with pricing to guide you along. I wish every restaurant with a good bar selection would do this. It just makes things so much easier than playing the "do you have..." game. They also have a great wine list and a sommelier to make recommendations. If youre looking for a non-alcoholic drink, they make some damn good sodas too. So, youre all set in the beverage department no matter what you want to drink.

4.) The Food - Obviously I like the food if I'm eating at this restaurant at least once a week, right? I love the way the menu is broken down into snacks, sides, small, medium, large, and extra large plates. I love the small plates concept because I like to experience a bunch of different flavors, so I usually stick to the small, medium, snack, and sides areas. I think by now I have tried just about everything that stays as a staple item on all of these parts of the menu and I've probably had about 95% of the seasonal or in-n-out items too. Occasionally, as was the case last week, I will pop into the large or extra large areas. The double yolk farm egg, pig ear salad, burrata, chargrilled octopus, duck confit, and sweet & spicy pork belly are amongst my favorites and are staples. Items like the aforementioned crispy pig head, sweetbreads, grouper cheek, pork cheek, and various pasta dishes are ones I've enjoyed when I've been lucky enough to find them on the menu during my visits. Heck, I even started eating brussel sprouts because of this restaurant and they have become something I order at almost every meal! I really enjoy the focus on flavor in every dish and have come to trust the Chef when items that I usually wouldnt eat appear as part of a dish I've ordered. Those items are in there because they enhance the overall flavor of the dish, so I eat them and expand my horizons as an "eater". I think its pretty safe to say that I eat "everything" now. Mr. Frodnesor of the blog Food for Thought has also done a kickass writeup of many of his favorites. The food just rocks here and I can never get bored because the menu is constantly evolving. There is something for everyone. Pretty effin awesome in my book.

3.)The Staff - I think a key to having a successful restaurant is having a great staff. The staff at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink is top notch. It starts with the hostesses who are incredibly polite and accommodating and always keep their cool when things get crazy, like on Art+Design nights when the restaurant gets mobbed with people. The servers are knowledgeable, friendly, and attentive. They know the menu, make recommendations, and want to make sure you have a good dining experience and come back for more. The food runners are a big help in making sure all of the table is served at the same time. The managers go out of their way to stop by tables and make small talk if only for a second just to check and make sure things are going well. Its cool to see that the staff buys into the concept of the restaurant and the way that Chef Schwartz wants things done. They also seem to enjoy their jobs. Everyone is on the same page and it's evident in the way the restaurant runs no matter if service is just beginning with a few customers or humming with a packed house.

2.) Kickass Bar Staff - While I will occasionally get a table when out with others, most of the time when Im at MGF&D I can be found sitting at the bar. Dining solo after a long day at work has something to do with that but the bar staff is the main reason. Michael's Genuine has a few of the best bartenders I've met. They always greet me with a hello and a handshake. They know every facet of the menu, make great drinks, and can carry a conversation. Most of all, they are incredibly friendly and seem to remember anyone and everyone who has saddled up to the bar. The barback is awesome too and always makes sure everyone has everything they need. The bar staff treats everyone like regulars on "Cheers" and...

1.) The Hands-On Chef/Owner - I've had the privilege of eating at many great restaurants around the country thanks to a job that requires me to travel a lot and my love of dining out. I've had a lot of great meals, so many that it's nearly impossible for me to name a favorite because there have been so many. There's also been many disappointing meals, so it's safe to say that a chef that consistently puts asses in the seats has the food thing right. Considering that I've dined at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink on every night of the week possible and have yet to see it not at capacity, it's clear that Chef Schwartz is creating high caliber dishes with a warm atmosphere that anyone can enjoy. However, I think that the most successful chefs are the ones who not only showcase their passions and personalities in their dishes but also share their personalities with the patrons who enjoy their food. In the few years that I've been eating at MGF&D I've seen Chef Schwartz behind the line on nearly every service. I like that. He has his staff tell him when customers like and dislike a dish for whatever reason and accepts that feedback. You cant say you're trying to be the best if you're not willing to listen to the good and the bad. He comes out from behind the line to say hi to diners and make sure everything is running smoothly. I've had many conversations with Chef Schwartz and he is, much like the name of his restaurant, a genuine guy. That makes a difference to me. I'm a salesmen and in sales people often don't buy the product or service but rather the person selling it. I think this can also be applied to restaurants. Many of my favorite restaurants in South Florida have this going for them. Its nice to know that a chef can be extremely talented, extremely successful, and extremely personable at the same time.

With all that said, I think its fairly obvious why this is my favorite place to dine in Miami and why I recommend it to nearly everyone who asks me where the best restaurant in Miami is. There are so many options that it is easy to have a great meal for a short buck or a phenomenal meal for a few extra bucks. Like I said earlier, there's something for everyone and I'm looking forward to dining at Michael's Genuine Food & Drink for many years to come.

Michael's Genuine Food & Drink
130 NE 40th St.
Miami, FL 33137
(305) 573-5550
www.michaelsgenuine.com

September Wine Dinner @ Neomi's, Trump Sunny Isles

2009-09-04T10:15:00.004-04:00

Pretty interesting wine dinner going on up at the Trump in Sunny Isles this month. Chef Kurtis Jantz of Neomi's is teaming up with Sean Bernal of Oceanaire Seafood Room to present a dinner with a few New Zealand wineries. The dinner is taking place on September 14th. I always seem to be out of town for these wine dinners but that doesnt mean I cant share the love.

From the Trump Miami website...

Experience an exceptional evening with not one, but two winemakers from New Zealand's most prestigious boutique wineries, Neudorf Vineyards and Maude Wines. And, pair that with not one, but two exceptional chefs. Sean Bernal of the Oceanaire Seafood Room joins our own Kurtis Jantz as they combine their efforts to create an unmatched culinary delight to partner with these amazing wines. Not one, but four reasons to attend.

Dinner is 79.00 per person, inclusive of tax and service charge

For reservations or more information, please contact 305.692.5770

Its a real Meat Market - Miami Beach

2009-08-28T14:13:00.006-04:00

One thing I love about dining out in Miami is the amount of hot women that can be seen out and about doing the same. One place that seems to be a real meat market is, well, Meat Market on Lincoln Road, Miami Beach. The bar just breeds hotties. Maybe its the location? Maybe its the bar? Or maybe its the food? Either way, if you like to eat and drink at a place that is visually stimulating with its decor and its female patrons, Meat Market is a good spot. Its also a place where I have had some very good meals.

Last weekend after a long beach party and at the request of my cousin, I made a reservation for me and some friends at Meat Market. I was looking to sink my teeth into a steak and MM was close to my buddy's place and my cousin's hotel so it was a good suggestion. Plus, they happen to have a killer Kobe* filet. The reservation was for 11p (it was a loooong beach party) and we arrived a few minutes early and were told they were waiting for a table to clear out so we opted for drinks at the bar. After talking to a well-endowed cute blonde and her friend, my friends asked me to check with the maitre d' to see what the delay was. It was now about 11:20p and we still hadn't been seated. Due to the amount of champagne Id already consumed, I didn't really care about the delay but I could agree with their beef. If we were able to make a rez for 11p, why weren't we being seated? The maitre d' was very sweet and did her best to appease me as I told her that my friends were gonna bail if we had to wait much longer. Well, 2 friends ended up bailing out of frustration right as they were getting the table ready for us but I was able to say the magic words "kobe filet" to my cousin and he and I returned to be seated.

The maitre d' really was apologetic and offered to provide us with a few apps at no charge. It was a nice gesture that I really appreciated as she did not have to do that. Matter of fact, a lot of places in Miami probably wouldn't do that so it was nice to see someone in charge that actually cared about customers and making sure they enjoyed their meal. We selected the white truffle kobe tartar with capers, red onion, and parmesan flatbread as well as the cedar-scented hamachi with mango caviar, white truffle, and lime. The hamachi was very good and did have a hint of smokiness that I enjoyed. My cousin loved the kobe tartar but I thought they went a tad overboard with the capers. The capers were included in the mixture of kobe tartar as well as on the side and I made the mistake of combining both and getting more saltiness than I had bargained for. Probably user error on my part but then again it was caper overload that could've been avoided had they not been abundantly present.

For our mains, we opted for the only cut of beef Ive had at my half-dozen or so visits to Meat Market, the Japanese A5 Kobe Filet. At $95, its a pretty good deal and when you're paying that much for a steak you might as well add some seared foie gras to it, right? Yes, you should and we did. My cousin selected a Spanish red wine, El Nido, to have with our meal. I really enjoyed it but I must be honest and admit that I'm no wine expert so I wont go on and on about tannins, nose, flavors, etc. It was just a really good wine and the decanter used to let it breathe was pretty frickin sweet and could also double as a tool to impale an unruly dining patron. The steaks came out a nice medium and were like butta baby! Add seared foie on top and its hog heaven for me. A side of grilled asparagus had a sort of smokiness to it that I really enjoyed and thought complimented the dish very well. Another phenomenal kobe meal for me at Meat Market.

Throughout the dinner, the waiter and maitre d' came by the table to make sure everything was to our liking but not to the point where it was overkill. They really couldn't have been nicer or done a better job, especially the maitre d'. I hope the owner recognizes that he has a good staff up front and on service, at least based on my experiences there. The bar staff is also pretty solid. Overall, I recommend checking this place out. The food is good, the service is solid, the scene is swanky, and the women are sexy.

Meat Market
915 Lincoln Rd
Miami Beach, FL 33139-2601
(305) 532-0088

*While I am skeptic of restaurants that have "kobe" beef, Meat Market advertises theirs as Japanese A5 Kobe Tenderloin from Kobe, Japan, so I gotta believe that is what it is.