Was driving through Atlanta, GA today listening to some local talk radio when the jockey who was on at the time mentioned brought up the state of Florida's projected $178 Million dollar study (in fiscal year one) to drug test people who collect welfare checks. So far, the study has found that while 2% we cited as drug users, 96% of these people do not use drugs. This is less than the national average of people over the age of 12 who use drugs (8.7%) and over the age of 26 (6.3%). It also disproves Governor Rick Scott's ridiculous statement that people on welfare are more likely to use drugs than people who are not on welfare. Wow, imagine that? When asked for comment, it appears that the Governor's office declined. Wow, imagine that?
The jockey went on to call out Governor Rick Scott for wasting $178M of taxpayer money on a ridiculous study when the state is struggling to fund other programs and cutting the jobs of teachers, firefighters, and policemen. He ended by saying, "This guy has got to go. People of Florida need to make sure their voice is heard at the next election".
I found it pretty funny that here we had a disc jockey for a radio station in the next state that was more in tune with the politics of Florida than most Floridians are. I wanted to call in and let him know that I agreed with him in full but the sad part is that an asshole like Rick Scott is likely to be re-elected because people in Florida are asleep at the wheel when it comes to politics.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Hurricanes
I thought I'd respond to SFDB's post about how he doesn't like when people say that they enjoy a hurricane.
I've spent hours putting up shutters in the hot Florida sun and they were for someone else, not me. Not fun.
I've heard the roar of the winds, watched the trees bend and fall. Cool stuff. My car was damaged by a falling tree. Not cool stuff.
I've been without ice but was smart enough to have water on hand. I've had to ration food from my fridge and pantry and I've shared with neighbors.
After Wilma, I was without hot water for 3 months (might've been close to 4) and took ice cold showers daily. Not fun.
I've not seen firsthand the devastating effects of a Category 4 or 5 hurricane and I feel horrible for those who experience loss in such storms much like I do when other parts of the country have tornadoes or earthquakes that are violently destructive.
Having said all that, as I said the other day to Rick of SFDB on Twitter, I enjoy a hurricane. I guess I'm talking about a Cat 1 or 2 when I say that, as I certainly wouldn't want to experience a Cat 4 or 5. The smaller ones usually leave little damage and flooding.
But I do enjoy a hurricane. I enjoy the feeling of fear of the unknown, the power of the weather as it hits, the knowledge that Man cannot control EVERYTHING. That we are powerless. That we sit and hope for the best while preparing for the worst. And if the worst happens, we band together and deal with it and move forward.
I guess you could say it makes me feel...
Human.
I've spent hours putting up shutters in the hot Florida sun and they were for someone else, not me. Not fun.
I've heard the roar of the winds, watched the trees bend and fall. Cool stuff. My car was damaged by a falling tree. Not cool stuff.
I've been without ice but was smart enough to have water on hand. I've had to ration food from my fridge and pantry and I've shared with neighbors.
After Wilma, I was without hot water for 3 months (might've been close to 4) and took ice cold showers daily. Not fun.
I've not seen firsthand the devastating effects of a Category 4 or 5 hurricane and I feel horrible for those who experience loss in such storms much like I do when other parts of the country have tornadoes or earthquakes that are violently destructive.
Having said all that, as I said the other day to Rick of SFDB on Twitter, I enjoy a hurricane. I guess I'm talking about a Cat 1 or 2 when I say that, as I certainly wouldn't want to experience a Cat 4 or 5. The smaller ones usually leave little damage and flooding.
But I do enjoy a hurricane. I enjoy the feeling of fear of the unknown, the power of the weather as it hits, the knowledge that Man cannot control EVERYTHING. That we are powerless. That we sit and hope for the best while preparing for the worst. And if the worst happens, we band together and deal with it and move forward.
I guess you could say it makes me feel...
Human.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Bombs away!
Part of traveling a lot for a living means you are susceptible to uncomfortable situations and lots of them. Like having to sit in an airport for 6+ hours because a flight has been delayed or because you've finished early and there is no earlier flight to catch. Or maybe you booked a hotel in a new area and it's a dump but you just have to suck it up and get some rest. Or maybe, just maybe it's the worst of all situations...having to take a dump in a public bathroom.
The public dump is something I try to avoid at all costs. There is nothing more uncomfortable than having to hover over a toilet and drop cable while others are raining down brown of their own. Public bathrooms are dirty, smelly, and just not somewhere desirable to take a crap. They can be entertaining sources of laughter though, like when you're trying to pinch a loaf and the guy in the shitter next to you is farting out some machine gun diarrhea. The sound of farting always cracks me up, even more so when it's accompanied by a stressful moan or sigh of relief.
I've compiled a list of the worst public places to take a dump. Why? Because I'm stuck at an airport for 6 hours and need to entertain myself and fart/poop stories are just plain hilarious. Plus, just before I left for the airport I felt last night's dinner and post dinner bourbon fighting like a UFC battle was going on in my stomach and made sure to drop my payload in the comfort of my hotel room. Veteran move.
The Convention Center Dump - Seems like every time I need to take a leak while working a convention I enter the bathroom only to hear someone annihilating the toilet and the air with a stink bomb. I've been able to avoid this dump, choosing to hold it in for hours if necessary as these bathrooms are usually filthy.
The Fast Food Dump - Once I was on a business trip driving thru the middle of the country when I knew I needed to take a shit at the first opportunity I could. I could feel "the wave" in my stomach and knew I wouldn't be able to hold out for long so I stopped at a Wendy's and tore that place up. It was all sorts of awful. To make matters worse, the toilet was broken and wouldn't flush. Well, that didn't make matters worse for me, so to speak. Actually, I got a good laugh out of it as I pictured some poor soul who would have to take care of the nuclear fallout I'd left behind. The fast food dump is usually avoidable because usually where there is a fast food joint off the highway, there is also a hotel and hotel bathrooms are usually pretty clean. Yeah, you know you'll thank me for that tip someday.
The Rest Stop Dump - Another doozy. Rest stop bathrooms are poorly maintained and/or have heavy traffic. As a result, you're gonna be in for harsh conditions and a total lack of peace and quiet should the brown bandit come to pay you a visit on the turnpike. I was 22 years old and on my first ever business trip with a female coworker who was in her early 30s going to visit a client. I don't know what the hell I ate the night before but about 45 minutes into the 2hr drive it wanted to exit thru the back door in a hurry. She was driving so I said I had to take a leak and we stopped at a rest stop where the bathrooms look like an elevated trailer home. I'm in there at least 15 minutes just punishing the toilet with ass fury. Every time I think it's clear to go, another round of explosive diarrhea hits and I gotta stay a little longer. I eventually get back to the car and said I got sick and was throwing up. I know, totally wussed out.
The Port-O-Potty Dump - Can't say this has ever happened to me and if it has it was so horrific I erased it from my memory. Really nothing good about this one. You're dumping into a hole with other dumpage and piss everywhere and you're all alone, wallowing in your own shame for having to shit in a port-o-potty.
The Office Dump - "Hey look, there goes the office shitter." A comment you hope is never about you. When I first started a job I was scared to death to take a crap at work because the bathroom was just off the main hallway near all of the offices and cubicles. It basically sat in the middle of everything. It also had really thin walls as I learned when one of the larger women in the office started a fiber diet and could be heard farting shit out of her ass continuously, reducing me to tears from laughter while I was on the phone with a customer. The only positive was it was a solo bathroom. One day I finally get the courage to drop a bomb at work and everything goes rather smoothly - little to no farting, quick enough, and I watched the flush and made sure everything went down. I was relieved but it didn't last long. About 2-3 hours later, I hear a commotion in the hallway and the owner is talking to the janitor. The toilet has overflowed and there is doody all over the bathroom floor. I'm shocked because I watched it go down so I'm pretty sure someone had to have gone in there after me and tore up the joint. Even so, it took awhile to get the courage to do that again. However, with this job also came my first personal office which gave me freedom to bury a fart in my chair every now and then should nature call. Well, one day I've got the hot, rotten egg farts and I'm carefree farting up a storm in my office. All of a sudden, I hear this conversation in the hallway: "Did someone burn eggs in the toaster over or something? I don't know? It's either that or a something died in the ceiling over the weekend." Whoops.
The Stadium Dump - This is another one I have thankfully managed to avoid but apparently many can't because it seems like every game I've attended in my life there is always someone having a blowout in the bathroom. I remember one time I was at Fenway and some guy was taking a very audible dump with loud farts and I said, "Show that turd who's boss, buddy!" and everyone in the bathroom cracked up. Never gets old.
The Airport Dump - I'll never forget my first one. My sales rep and I had taken down a mean spicy meat lovers pizza at an Italian joint one night and the next day had an early morning meeting before I had to get to the airport. That 'za was knockin on the door mid-meeting, so bad that I started sweating. My rep got me to the airport quickly but I had to hit the shitter before I checked in or else I was probably going to crap myself. I soon gave birth to a hot, spicy, pile of brown lava in the handicrap stall. It smelled so bad that someone who entered the bathroom while I was unloading said, "GEEZ!" and literally coughed and gagged. I laughed myself to tears. In fact, I'm laughing myself to tears just writing this recollection of it.
The 40,000ft Dump - This one has got to be the worst. Airplane bathrooms are usually filthy and also impossible to be comfortable in even when you're standing taking a leak. Dropping trow is even more uncomfortable. They have a "hover handle" in there to help but it's still tough. It must suck to be a woman and have to hover just to take a piss on a plane. In September of 2009, my 31 year streak of never having to shit in an airplane came to an end. It was a horrific experience that I tried to hold off until I couldn't take it anymore. I unleashed my fury on that flight with a good 10 minute diarrhea fest. When I emerged, a line of people who had to use the bathroom had formed and the smell trailed me as I made my way back to my seat. At first I was embarrassed but embarrassment turned to pride as I realized that these people were forced to cower in the presence of my ass power.
I'm sure there are plenty more public places that are awful to take a crap but I'm sitting in a restaurant at the airport typing and laughing so badly to myself that I've got to end this. I hope this brought you as many laughs as it did me and may your dumps always be in the comfort of your own home or hotel room.
The public dump is something I try to avoid at all costs. There is nothing more uncomfortable than having to hover over a toilet and drop cable while others are raining down brown of their own. Public bathrooms are dirty, smelly, and just not somewhere desirable to take a crap. They can be entertaining sources of laughter though, like when you're trying to pinch a loaf and the guy in the shitter next to you is farting out some machine gun diarrhea. The sound of farting always cracks me up, even more so when it's accompanied by a stressful moan or sigh of relief.
I've compiled a list of the worst public places to take a dump. Why? Because I'm stuck at an airport for 6 hours and need to entertain myself and fart/poop stories are just plain hilarious. Plus, just before I left for the airport I felt last night's dinner and post dinner bourbon fighting like a UFC battle was going on in my stomach and made sure to drop my payload in the comfort of my hotel room. Veteran move.
The Convention Center Dump - Seems like every time I need to take a leak while working a convention I enter the bathroom only to hear someone annihilating the toilet and the air with a stink bomb. I've been able to avoid this dump, choosing to hold it in for hours if necessary as these bathrooms are usually filthy.
The Fast Food Dump - Once I was on a business trip driving thru the middle of the country when I knew I needed to take a shit at the first opportunity I could. I could feel "the wave" in my stomach and knew I wouldn't be able to hold out for long so I stopped at a Wendy's and tore that place up. It was all sorts of awful. To make matters worse, the toilet was broken and wouldn't flush. Well, that didn't make matters worse for me, so to speak. Actually, I got a good laugh out of it as I pictured some poor soul who would have to take care of the nuclear fallout I'd left behind. The fast food dump is usually avoidable because usually where there is a fast food joint off the highway, there is also a hotel and hotel bathrooms are usually pretty clean. Yeah, you know you'll thank me for that tip someday.
The Rest Stop Dump - Another doozy. Rest stop bathrooms are poorly maintained and/or have heavy traffic. As a result, you're gonna be in for harsh conditions and a total lack of peace and quiet should the brown bandit come to pay you a visit on the turnpike. I was 22 years old and on my first ever business trip with a female coworker who was in her early 30s going to visit a client. I don't know what the hell I ate the night before but about 45 minutes into the 2hr drive it wanted to exit thru the back door in a hurry. She was driving so I said I had to take a leak and we stopped at a rest stop where the bathrooms look like an elevated trailer home. I'm in there at least 15 minutes just punishing the toilet with ass fury. Every time I think it's clear to go, another round of explosive diarrhea hits and I gotta stay a little longer. I eventually get back to the car and said I got sick and was throwing up. I know, totally wussed out.
The Port-O-Potty Dump - Can't say this has ever happened to me and if it has it was so horrific I erased it from my memory. Really nothing good about this one. You're dumping into a hole with other dumpage and piss everywhere and you're all alone, wallowing in your own shame for having to shit in a port-o-potty.
The Office Dump - "Hey look, there goes the office shitter." A comment you hope is never about you. When I first started a job I was scared to death to take a crap at work because the bathroom was just off the main hallway near all of the offices and cubicles. It basically sat in the middle of everything. It also had really thin walls as I learned when one of the larger women in the office started a fiber diet and could be heard farting shit out of her ass continuously, reducing me to tears from laughter while I was on the phone with a customer. The only positive was it was a solo bathroom. One day I finally get the courage to drop a bomb at work and everything goes rather smoothly - little to no farting, quick enough, and I watched the flush and made sure everything went down. I was relieved but it didn't last long. About 2-3 hours later, I hear a commotion in the hallway and the owner is talking to the janitor. The toilet has overflowed and there is doody all over the bathroom floor. I'm shocked because I watched it go down so I'm pretty sure someone had to have gone in there after me and tore up the joint. Even so, it took awhile to get the courage to do that again. However, with this job also came my first personal office which gave me freedom to bury a fart in my chair every now and then should nature call. Well, one day I've got the hot, rotten egg farts and I'm carefree farting up a storm in my office. All of a sudden, I hear this conversation in the hallway: "Did someone burn eggs in the toaster over or something? I don't know? It's either that or a something died in the ceiling over the weekend." Whoops.
The Stadium Dump - This is another one I have thankfully managed to avoid but apparently many can't because it seems like every game I've attended in my life there is always someone having a blowout in the bathroom. I remember one time I was at Fenway and some guy was taking a very audible dump with loud farts and I said, "Show that turd who's boss, buddy!" and everyone in the bathroom cracked up. Never gets old.
The Airport Dump - I'll never forget my first one. My sales rep and I had taken down a mean spicy meat lovers pizza at an Italian joint one night and the next day had an early morning meeting before I had to get to the airport. That 'za was knockin on the door mid-meeting, so bad that I started sweating. My rep got me to the airport quickly but I had to hit the shitter before I checked in or else I was probably going to crap myself. I soon gave birth to a hot, spicy, pile of brown lava in the handicrap stall. It smelled so bad that someone who entered the bathroom while I was unloading said, "GEEZ!" and literally coughed and gagged. I laughed myself to tears. In fact, I'm laughing myself to tears just writing this recollection of it.
The 40,000ft Dump - This one has got to be the worst. Airplane bathrooms are usually filthy and also impossible to be comfortable in even when you're standing taking a leak. Dropping trow is even more uncomfortable. They have a "hover handle" in there to help but it's still tough. It must suck to be a woman and have to hover just to take a piss on a plane. In September of 2009, my 31 year streak of never having to shit in an airplane came to an end. It was a horrific experience that I tried to hold off until I couldn't take it anymore. I unleashed my fury on that flight with a good 10 minute diarrhea fest. When I emerged, a line of people who had to use the bathroom had formed and the smell trailed me as I made my way back to my seat. At first I was embarrassed but embarrassment turned to pride as I realized that these people were forced to cower in the presence of my ass power.
I'm sure there are plenty more public places that are awful to take a crap but I'm sitting in a restaurant at the airport typing and laughing so badly to myself that I've got to end this. I hope this brought you as many laughs as it did me and may your dumps always be in the comfort of your own home or hotel room.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Ike & Val Woods - Live @ Upstairs @ the Van Dyke!!
If you're a fan of blues, funk, soul, and gospel music and love to see a kickass musical performance then boy have I got somethin' for you. My favorite band in Miami - Ike & Val Woods - will be playing this Saturday night Upstairs @ the Van Dyke on Lincoln Road. Show starts at 9pm and the place fills up quick so get there and grab a table or shore up at the bar and get ready for a great time. I love seeing live music at this venue because it's small and intimate. Bar prices are reasonable for South Beach too. Also, you may want to wear a Teflon face mask because there is a pretty good chance Reverend Ike might melt your face off with one of his face-melting guitar solos. Ike IS the blues and I am so thankful to have someone like him here in Miami playing music that I love. Ike & Val and their whole band pour their entire lifeforce into every performance and it's awesome to see. Their drummer had an epic drum solo a few months ago that was so awesome I bought him a beer when the song was over. Check it out, you won't be sorry and you'll leave there feelin' real good.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
One for Ricky
I usually don't read forwarded emails. Yup, usually they get the delete key at the preview screen. Today I happened to read one because it came from a pretty good source and was titled, "Something to think about..." The email indeed was something to think about and also took a political tone that of course reminded me of Rick at South Florida Daily Blog and his political posting that his readers suffer through each week. :)
I've taken the liberty of copying and pasting the email below. Share your thoughts...
To: SteveBM, etc, etc
Subject: Something to think about...
I've taken the liberty of copying and pasting the email below. Share your thoughts...
To: SteveBM, etc, etc
Subject: Something to think about...
There is something in here that I imagine all or most can agree on - except
ex-congressmen/senators and current ones! I like the thinking at any rate.
The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took
only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people
demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail,
before cell phones, etc.
Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or
less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.
I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty
people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do
likewise.
In three days, most people in The United States of America will have
the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.
Congressional Reform Act of 2011
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below..
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms
2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay
when they are out of office.
3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social
Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social
Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.
4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans
do.
5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional
pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in
the same health care system as the American people.
7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
people.
8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
1/1/11.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.
Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s),
then go home and back to work.
If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only
take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message.
Maybe it is time.
THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it
on. If not, just delete
You are one of my 20+. Please keep it going.
ex-congressmen/senators and current ones! I like the thinking at any rate.
The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took
only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people
demanded it. That was in 1971...before computers, before e-mail,
before cell phones, etc.
Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took 1 year or
less to become the law of the land...all because of public pressure.
I'm asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty
people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do
likewise.
In three days, most people in The United States of America will have
the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around.
Congressional Reform Act of 2011
1. Term Limits.
12 years only, one of the possible options below..
A. Two Six-year Senate terms
B. Six Two-year House terms
C. One Six-year Senate term and three Two-Year House terms
2. No Tenure / No Pension.
A Congressman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay
when they are out of office.
3. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security.
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social
Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social
Security system, and Congress participates with the American people.
4. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans
do.
5. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional
pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%.
6. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in
the same health care system as the American people.
7. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American
people.
8. All contracts with past and present Congressmen are void effective
1/1/11.
The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen.
Congressmen made all these contracts for themselves.
Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers
envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s),
then go home and back to work.
If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only
take three days for most people (in the U.S. ) to receive the message.
Maybe it is time.
THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS!!!!! If you agree with the above, pass it
on. If not, just delete
You are one of my 20+. Please keep it going.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Press On
Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
-Calvin Coolidge
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
-Calvin Coolidge
Thursday, October 7, 2010
9 Years and 10 Games of Patriots and Doll Fans
It was a warm fall day when I pulled into my new home in South Miami on October 6th, 2001. I had just moved down to Miami from Boston for absolutely no reason at all. I was jobless but looking forward to the adventure of starting a new life in a new city. I arrived to an empty house and began unpacking. My roommates were out on the water for the Columbus Day Regatta and came home all sorts of riled up. They decided to throw a party to welcome me that night which was pretty awesome. I met a lot of cool people that night but the one who surprised me most was a Colombian girl named Maria who was into classic and alternative rock. We talked for a bit and somehow sports came up and I mentioned I was a Patriots fan. She didn't know much about football so that was that. The party ended around 5am from what I remember. Good times.
The next morning at 10am, there is a knock on the door and someone ringing the bell. "What the hell is this shit?", I remember thinking to myself as I trudged over to the door in a zombie-like state. It was a guy who said he was Maria's cousin. He had two tickets and a parking pass for the Patriots/Dollfans* game and would sell them to me if I wanted them for $80. Sold! My first day in Miami was off to a great start! I vowed that from then on, I would make it an annual event to go to the game when the Patriots were in town. It's been 9 years to the day and I've kept that vow, having attended 10 Pats/Dollfans games since.
2001 - Not much tailgating for this one since we got the tix that morning. My roommate and I got to the game right before kickoff and parked in a lot far from the stadium, guzzling a few beers on the walk in. On our walk from the car to the stadium, Troy Brown ran the opening kick back to the Dollfans 5 yard line. We then heard from other tailgaters that the USA had begun bombing Afghanistan. It was 1 month after 9/11. The Pats took a 7-0 lead but it was all Dollfans after that as Lamar Smith ran all over the Pats D. The final score was 30-10, Dollfans. Two more things about this game... Having moved to Miami from a small un-diverse town just North of Boston, I was experiencing major culture shock. It seemed like no one spoke English in Miami. At halftime, I was very moved when the American flag was draped across the field and a moment of silence for our brothers and sisters in war overseas was observed by all in attendance. The other part about the game wasn't so surprising. Jay Fiedler was having a great game. He threw one pick in garbage time when the game was out of reach and was booed like no tomorrow as Doll Fans around me talked about how much he sucked. Way to get behind your team. The Pats would finish the season as Super Bowl Champions for the first time in my lifetime. Figures the year I move away they win it all...haha.
2002 - A buddy of mine flew down with his girlfriend for this game. We had an awesome tailgate with Pats fans who seemed to outnumber Doll Fans 2-1. At least we got a nice buzz on because the Pats lost again 26-13.
2003 - I went to this game with my buddy, Ryan, whom I was also battling in fantasy football that week. We sat in the upper endzone and he was rubbing it in each time the scoreboard flashed scores from other games where his players were scoring points in our matchup. I had Tom Brady on my team and as the game went on, my fantasy team was making a comeback. Our match was close when the Pats game went to overtime. The Pats made a key defensive stop and then Brady hit Troy Brown for a 75-80 yard TD to not only win the game but give me the W in my fantasy matchup. It was awesome and one of the best times I can remember having with Ryan. He passed away 5 years later. I still think about him all the time. He was a great friend.
2004 - The Pats/Dollfans game fell on a Monday night this year. A buddy of mine and I got to the game early and got the fire going to cook some dinner and drink some beers. It was a good thing we had a nice fire going because it was the coldest night I can remember in South Florida. At kickoff it was 52 degrees and there was a ton of wind. We used the fire to keep warm and had 2-3 layers on! Sure, it was nothing like a snow game at Foxboro but for Miami it was cold! We scored killer seats for this game about 5 rows up on the 40 yard line and sat there with our hands going numb as they clenched beer after beer. The Pats went up 28-17 about halfway thru the 4th quarter and my buddy, who had driven us to the game, wanted outta that stadium like a typical shitty Doll Fan. I laid into him as we walked to the car for being a shitty fan and as we opened the doors the stadium goes nuts. The Dollfans had scored but botched the 2-point try and were down 6. As we drove South on 93, Brady threw an interception and Derrius Thompson (I'll never forget that jobber beating us) scored the game winning TD. "THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE EARLY!!!", I yelled at my friend the rest of the way home even though I was glad to not have had to deal with the loss in person.
2005 - I get to see my 2nd Pats win as they take the game 23-16. Heath Evans, a former Dollfan, starts for the Pats at RB even though he's a FB and has a great game. This was also the first time the Pats would see Nick Saban as coach of the Dollfans. It was also the last.
2006 - The Pats played the Dollfans on my birthday this year and I scored great tickets for me and an old friend of mine from back home. The game, however, will forever be remembered by me as the "Birthday Beatdown". The Patriots lost 21-0 in a horrible game. It was like I was a Patriot out in a boat on my birthday and a dolphin jumped out of the water and over my boat, taking a crap on my birthday cake in the process. It sucked.
2007 - Redemption. For as bad of a beatdown as 2006 was for the Patriots, they more than made up for it in this game. Tom Brady threw 6 touchdowns with 2 going to former Dollfan, Wes Welker, and 2 being lobbed up in the air for Randy Moss. Both Welker and Moss also had 100+ yards in this game. The Pats would go on to break a bunch of records this year with an undefeated regular season and nearly a perfect season. I still don't care what any Doll Fan who clings to the past says - 18-1 in the year 2007 is still more impressive than 17-0 in 1972. I was at the Super Bowl when the Giants defeated the Patriots on a lucky heave and catch and that would've sucked more than the "Birthday Beatdown" had it not been for the insane time I had out there.
2008 - Tom Brady was injured and knocked out for the season on the opening drive of the first game of the season. Matt Cassell came to Miami and led the Patriots to a blowout 48-28 victory, throwing for over 400 yards with 3 TD passes to Moss. I got really shitfaced at this game and that's about all I remember haha.
2009 - Disappointment. The Pats shot themselves in the foot this game. Belichick overcoached and the players underperformed after going up by 14 on a bomb to Moss (one that I called before the snap) and a TD run by Kevin Faulk in the first half. They led 21-10 after a lucky pass caught by Sam Aiken led to a TD but then blew a number of chances to score as the Dollfans crept back into the game and eventually won 22-21. Davone Bess had a great game and looked like the Dollfans version of Wes Welker in this game.
2010 - This year I was nervous about the game. The Patriots defense is abysmal this year and although the Dollfans offense doesn't impress me, I figured they would score easily and that their D would play strong and give Brady trouble all night. We tailgated a good 4 hours for this game and sucked down many beers. I couldn't have been more wrong about feeling nervous that the Pats would lose. They won in a blowout 41-14 with Randy Moss not even catching one pass. It was all defense and special teams. The Pats would trade away Moss 2 days later to the Vikings and the Dollfans would appropriately fire their special teams coach.
Wow, nine years and 10 games of Patriots and Doll Fans. My record at Dollfan Stadium/Landshark Stadium/Sun Life Stadium is an even 5-5. Looking forward to breaking that tie next year!
*Out of all teams in all sports, I don't think there is a team I hate more than the Dollfans and that's coming from a Red Sox fan with extreme dislike for the Yankees and their fans. I HATED Dan Marino growing up. Not because he beat my team but because I thought he was an asshole. Every time he would throw an interception or fumble, he would always yell at his teammates. It was never his fault. I also can't stand the majority of the Doll Fans and can't believe they would enjoy that moniker of fandom. They are fair weather fans and most have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to their own team. Just a sad group of fans. Not all but many of them. They also cling to the "perfect season" and bring it up whenever they feel the need to pretend how much their current team doesn't suck.
The next morning at 10am, there is a knock on the door and someone ringing the bell. "What the hell is this shit?", I remember thinking to myself as I trudged over to the door in a zombie-like state. It was a guy who said he was Maria's cousin. He had two tickets and a parking pass for the Patriots/Dollfans* game and would sell them to me if I wanted them for $80. Sold! My first day in Miami was off to a great start! I vowed that from then on, I would make it an annual event to go to the game when the Patriots were in town. It's been 9 years to the day and I've kept that vow, having attended 10 Pats/Dollfans games since.
2001 - Not much tailgating for this one since we got the tix that morning. My roommate and I got to the game right before kickoff and parked in a lot far from the stadium, guzzling a few beers on the walk in. On our walk from the car to the stadium, Troy Brown ran the opening kick back to the Dollfans 5 yard line. We then heard from other tailgaters that the USA had begun bombing Afghanistan. It was 1 month after 9/11. The Pats took a 7-0 lead but it was all Dollfans after that as Lamar Smith ran all over the Pats D. The final score was 30-10, Dollfans. Two more things about this game... Having moved to Miami from a small un-diverse town just North of Boston, I was experiencing major culture shock. It seemed like no one spoke English in Miami. At halftime, I was very moved when the American flag was draped across the field and a moment of silence for our brothers and sisters in war overseas was observed by all in attendance. The other part about the game wasn't so surprising. Jay Fiedler was having a great game. He threw one pick in garbage time when the game was out of reach and was booed like no tomorrow as Doll Fans around me talked about how much he sucked. Way to get behind your team. The Pats would finish the season as Super Bowl Champions for the first time in my lifetime. Figures the year I move away they win it all...haha.
2002 - A buddy of mine flew down with his girlfriend for this game. We had an awesome tailgate with Pats fans who seemed to outnumber Doll Fans 2-1. At least we got a nice buzz on because the Pats lost again 26-13.
2003 - I went to this game with my buddy, Ryan, whom I was also battling in fantasy football that week. We sat in the upper endzone and he was rubbing it in each time the scoreboard flashed scores from other games where his players were scoring points in our matchup. I had Tom Brady on my team and as the game went on, my fantasy team was making a comeback. Our match was close when the Pats game went to overtime. The Pats made a key defensive stop and then Brady hit Troy Brown for a 75-80 yard TD to not only win the game but give me the W in my fantasy matchup. It was awesome and one of the best times I can remember having with Ryan. He passed away 5 years later. I still think about him all the time. He was a great friend.
2004 - The Pats/Dollfans game fell on a Monday night this year. A buddy of mine and I got to the game early and got the fire going to cook some dinner and drink some beers. It was a good thing we had a nice fire going because it was the coldest night I can remember in South Florida. At kickoff it was 52 degrees and there was a ton of wind. We used the fire to keep warm and had 2-3 layers on! Sure, it was nothing like a snow game at Foxboro but for Miami it was cold! We scored killer seats for this game about 5 rows up on the 40 yard line and sat there with our hands going numb as they clenched beer after beer. The Pats went up 28-17 about halfway thru the 4th quarter and my buddy, who had driven us to the game, wanted outta that stadium like a typical shitty Doll Fan. I laid into him as we walked to the car for being a shitty fan and as we opened the doors the stadium goes nuts. The Dollfans had scored but botched the 2-point try and were down 6. As we drove South on 93, Brady threw an interception and Derrius Thompson (I'll never forget that jobber beating us) scored the game winning TD. "THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T LEAVE EARLY!!!", I yelled at my friend the rest of the way home even though I was glad to not have had to deal with the loss in person.
2005 - I get to see my 2nd Pats win as they take the game 23-16. Heath Evans, a former Dollfan, starts for the Pats at RB even though he's a FB and has a great game. This was also the first time the Pats would see Nick Saban as coach of the Dollfans. It was also the last.
2006 - The Pats played the Dollfans on my birthday this year and I scored great tickets for me and an old friend of mine from back home. The game, however, will forever be remembered by me as the "Birthday Beatdown". The Patriots lost 21-0 in a horrible game. It was like I was a Patriot out in a boat on my birthday and a dolphin jumped out of the water and over my boat, taking a crap on my birthday cake in the process. It sucked.
2007 - Redemption. For as bad of a beatdown as 2006 was for the Patriots, they more than made up for it in this game. Tom Brady threw 6 touchdowns with 2 going to former Dollfan, Wes Welker, and 2 being lobbed up in the air for Randy Moss. Both Welker and Moss also had 100+ yards in this game. The Pats would go on to break a bunch of records this year with an undefeated regular season and nearly a perfect season. I still don't care what any Doll Fan who clings to the past says - 18-1 in the year 2007 is still more impressive than 17-0 in 1972. I was at the Super Bowl when the Giants defeated the Patriots on a lucky heave and catch and that would've sucked more than the "Birthday Beatdown" had it not been for the insane time I had out there.
2008 - Tom Brady was injured and knocked out for the season on the opening drive of the first game of the season. Matt Cassell came to Miami and led the Patriots to a blowout 48-28 victory, throwing for over 400 yards with 3 TD passes to Moss. I got really shitfaced at this game and that's about all I remember haha.
2009 - Disappointment. The Pats shot themselves in the foot this game. Belichick overcoached and the players underperformed after going up by 14 on a bomb to Moss (one that I called before the snap) and a TD run by Kevin Faulk in the first half. They led 21-10 after a lucky pass caught by Sam Aiken led to a TD but then blew a number of chances to score as the Dollfans crept back into the game and eventually won 22-21. Davone Bess had a great game and looked like the Dollfans version of Wes Welker in this game.
2010 - This year I was nervous about the game. The Patriots defense is abysmal this year and although the Dollfans offense doesn't impress me, I figured they would score easily and that their D would play strong and give Brady trouble all night. We tailgated a good 4 hours for this game and sucked down many beers. I couldn't have been more wrong about feeling nervous that the Pats would lose. They won in a blowout 41-14 with Randy Moss not even catching one pass. It was all defense and special teams. The Pats would trade away Moss 2 days later to the Vikings and the Dollfans would appropriately fire their special teams coach.
Wow, nine years and 10 games of Patriots and Doll Fans. My record at Dollfan Stadium/Landshark Stadium/Sun Life Stadium is an even 5-5. Looking forward to breaking that tie next year!
*Out of all teams in all sports, I don't think there is a team I hate more than the Dollfans and that's coming from a Red Sox fan with extreme dislike for the Yankees and their fans. I HATED Dan Marino growing up. Not because he beat my team but because I thought he was an asshole. Every time he would throw an interception or fumble, he would always yell at his teammates. It was never his fault. I also can't stand the majority of the Doll Fans and can't believe they would enjoy that moniker of fandom. They are fair weather fans and most have no idea what they are talking about when it comes to their own team. Just a sad group of fans. Not all but many of them. They also cling to the "perfect season" and bring it up whenever they feel the need to pretend how much their current team doesn't suck.
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