Thursday, October 18, 2007

My Neighbor Gets OWNED on People's Court

One day, a bunch of us neighbors were hanging out in the courtyard of our building having some drinks or a bbq or something like that. Its a regular thing where I live. Anyways, our neighbor walks up and looks all distraught. He explains that he was just on People's Court as a plaintiff trying to retain a deposit for a would-be renter who didn't complete the deal for one reason or another and that the judge went off on him and embarrassed him, saying he was a disgrace to UM Law. I felt bad for him but figured it wasn't a big deal. He was REALLY bummed and a bunch of us spent about 30-45 minutes telling him to get over it, life goes on, etc. He had never seen the show before and wasn't aware that the judges tend to make fools out of people because thats what makes good TV. Thats the main reason I hate those shows. I think the judges are so goddamn disrespectful just because they feel they can be. I didn't really think my neighbor's case could've been that bad, then I saw this clip... Ive been cracking up all morning!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

IKEA Opens in Florida; Mentally Defective Show Up in Droves

I was just watching 7 News and they were interviewing some of these dumbass morons who are CAMPING OUT in front of the store and I cant stop laughing. It might take me 20 minutes to type this because I cant stop laughing, but here's some quotes from some fatass morons who were interviewed. I think the best part is that they are all DEAD SERIOUS.

"They have really unique items. Its just a fun store, I mean, just look at it. Even the outside is different!" (points to a boring ass concrete blue wall with a white trim)

Then they interview the lucky 1st person in line who got there MONDAY MORNING...

"I went to the website, (giggling) and I made a list (laughs hysterically)...of things I might want to buy."

Uh, okay, she went to a website and made a list of some stuff she "might want to buy" and then decided to wait outside for 48 hours to "maybe buy it"? If youre not already either cracking up or scratching your head as to why any human being would behave this way, let it be know that this woman has never been to an IKEA store before. Oh, but she will get a free chair for being one of the 1st 100 customers that she will have to assemble. That might be worth the 2 days of pay she likely squandered by waiting in line.

This final one took the cake for me because the girl was so serious when she said it...

"I guess, like, the whole chair thing really sold us. Like, the whole chair thing and just, like, the whole experience. Like, my grandma said, 'Its a life experience.' and like, she really wanted us to do it. She said, 'I would do it if I could stay there all night.' So..." (shrugs shoulders and nods with a face that either explains, "It was obvious what we had to do" or says "yeah, Im a fuckin nutjob")

Monday, October 1, 2007

My Trip to the new Whole Foods Market in South Miami

I went to the Whole Foods yesterday in South Miami (I still say that location is NOT Gables) and I gotta say, I wasnt really too impressed.

Their veggie selection was adequate, but I dont think it was any better than Milams or Fresh Market. Maybe they have more "organic" (see also: absurdly expensive) produce, but thats about it. I did like the variety of mushrooms though.

The seafood selection sucked I thought. There were mussels and clams that were dead and sitting in the case, the "fresh tuna" looked previously frozen, and nothing really jumped out at me overall. One thing I did notice is that they must have customers that LOVE salmon because they had it prepared just about 15 different ways.

The meat case was decent, high priced (as expected) but decent. The chicken selection wasnt great though. They had a good deal on ribeyes, but the ribeyes looked disgusting and LOADED with fat/gristle. I know this is a characteristic of a ribeye, but it was far from "marbling". I liked the sausage selections, but Fresh Market has all of the same ones and they are less expensive (I never thought Id say FM is less expensive than anywhere else on earth). I tried the turkey andoullie and the veal/spinach/feta and both were pretty good. When it came time to buy a steak though, I settled on going with a more reasonably priced option at Milams.

The two areas I really liked at WF were the wine and cheese sections. The selection in the cheese section was unreal! I wasnt prepared for that kind of variety, so I basically sat there staring for about 15 minutes and then decided I needed a gameplan for the next visit. The wine selection was pretty sweet too. Lots of variety and I liked the layout. I wish they had a few more options in the $10-$15 range though. I also thought some of the wines were overpriced (Marques de Riscal 2002 is about $13.99 MAX and they had a 2004 at $18.99). Also in the wine/cheese section was an area with scoops where you could get all different kinds of salts and sugars. I thought this was kinda cool, but I cant imagine many people taking advantage of it. Then again, its not like salt/sugar goes bad.

I didnt really care for their prepared food section that much. It was pretty good, but I like the FM one better. The rest of the store was decent and they had all of the pantry items you'd expect. I also think FM's "snack bag" section is better. This is the area with all different kinds of nuts, sesame sticks, etc. Another thing I didnt like about the store was that, outside the prepped food sections, everything is seems really crammed.

Overall, it was cool to check out the new Whole Foods, but I wont be commuting from the Grove to shop there unless I have a recipe that calls for something rare that I know they are likely to carry. I guess its a nice option for that neighborhood since they carry a lot of different items than Publix or Gardners do too. This could explain why some people in that area are acting like its God's gift to grocery shopping haha.