Thursday, January 11, 2007

Im going to shoot you and your dog...

I live in a nice area of Miami, very laid back, very informal. Another trend of this area is that everyone seems to have a dog. They even have constructed "dog parks", little fenced in areas where dogs can run around off of their leashes and play with other dogs. Unfortunately, because a lot of dog owners are the laziest assholes around, I constantly have to deal with the smell of dog shit in the neighborhood. I also have to remind myself and every friend that visits to be sure to watch out for dog shit when we walk to the bars.

This is one thing that really pisses me off. Ive gotten into near fistfights for asking someone to pick up after their dog takes a dump on the sidewalk outside my complex. If you have a dog, you better be prepared to pick up shit. That, or go live out in the middle of nowhere where no one has to smell that shit, like Nebraska. Another thing that I just dont get is how I can gorge myself for an entire day and not have to take a dump, but feed a dog a 1/2 cup of food and you get at least a pound of turds! Its unreal! I dont get how you put such a small amount of food into a dog and an enormous quantity of waste comes out?!?!

The people who piss me off the most are my neighbors in my condo complex who allow their dogs to take a crap RIGHT IN OUR COURTYARD!! Some of these dogs are big too and take massive dumps. When they get busted, they choose to be even more lazy and walk their dogs in the parking lot so they can shit there. This baffles me because the parking lot is probably further away than walking outside of the property to let the dog shit somewhere else. I just dont see why, dog owner or not, you would want shit in your yard. Now we have "No dog poo" signs all over the place which are funny, but also an eyesore. It really is a shitty situation...pun intended.

With all that said, Im buying a pellet gun and leaving a warning that if I catch anyone's dog shitting on the property, Im popping a cap in their ass. I feel that Im within my rights on this one. I love dogs and have one of my own. I dog-sit all the time. I either pick up the crap or I bury it in the ground. I wish everyone else would do the same.


Rachelle said...

Ugh, lazy dog owners are the worst. People in Chicago are pretty considerate though... there are dog poo bag dispensers in a lot of neighborhoods.

But you still have your assholes - my building is anal about making everyone curb their dogs - but one time someone let their dog shit IN the elevator. And they didn't bother coming back to clean it. I didn't see it, but I heard about it. It caused a huge uproar.

Blind Mind said...

Now that is just plain disrespect... Its things like that that make me want to do bad things to those people.

Rachel said...

Where I live people are really good about cleaning up after their dogs. I haven't ever found a present in my yard.
If that happened I would be out for blood. It is just plain disgusting.
I have cats (won't get a dog because I work all day and I think that it is cruel to keep a dog in a kennel for 10 hours) and I clean up after them.
If someone ever did let their dog shit in my yard and not clean in up I would totally take a dirty litter box and dump it out on their front porch.

me said...

oh rachelle I disagree--my friend just visited me this weekend and I walked her to her car when she was leaving...10mins later she called to tell me she left her gym shoes on the curb because they were covered in dog shit. I am thouroughly disgusted by all the crap I see and not to mention how freakin' unsanitary that is..ugh! blind great post
EXCEPT I HOPE you are gonna pop the owners in the ass, not the dogs it's not their fault their owners are lazy assholes

Blind Mind said...

@Rachel - Lucky you. Ive done a tad worse than dumping kitty litter on someones porch, but we wont go there for now...

@me - well, obviously I know its not the dog's fault so all physical harm would be headed towards the owner.

BTW - we have signs about fines for not picking up after your dog but I cant imagine that this has ever been enforced. How funny would it be to see someone get a ticket for poop? What would it say? $500 fine for "poo removal fee"?

drew said...

I'm going to let my dog shit in your courtyard, then pick it up and rub it all over your door handle.

When you come out to yell at me, I'll simply say, "Lo siento, no hablo engles."