Question...

Q: What has 2 thumbs and is headed to Phoenix to sit in the lower level of the endzone and watch the New England Patriots shoot for an undefeated season against the Giants in the Super Bowl?

A: THIS GUY!!!!!!

More good eats at Origin Asian Bistro

Ok, so I stopped by Origin last night for dinner just like I said. It was incredibly good and I was reminded that I need to go back more often. Being that I was in Loserville, aka "dining alone" haha, I decided to sit inside rather than take up an outside table. It was kind of a bummer because one of my favorite things about eating outside there is that you get to see all the guys coming and going from "Booby Trap" next door...sinners haha. The inside is really nice and I think they repainted because I thought the paint used to be purple and its now a nice sage green. I could be mistaken though. There was one decoration that really stood out as an eyesore though. They have a staircase that leads upstairs to where the bathrooms are located and it is lined with 3 HUGE Alex Rodriguez autographed jerseys, one for each team he has financially sunk into the ground with his ridiculous contract before choking in the playoffs. I was thinking that either the owner is a huge fan or somehow A-Rod is involved with the restaurant, which would explain the eyesore jerseys since he has a huge ego to feed. Sure enough, 2 minutes later A-Rod comes walking down the stairs to have dinner with his wife who was surprisingly not that attractive at all. Now I understand the rumors that he cheated on her haha.

OK, back to the food... For an appetizer I ordered my favorite item - Cambodian Style Scallop Amok. The dish is comprised of tender scallops, egg, napa cabbage, lemongrass, thai basil, kaffir lime leaves, and a little coconut, which are all steamed in a banana leaf which makes for a beautiful presentation. This time it was a little less brothy than usual but delicious nonetheless. From there I wanted to go with the Scallop Cucumber Roll (scallops, cucumber, masago, mayo) and the Hamachita Roll (hamachi, jalapenos, tempura flakes, masago, mayo) but my waiter reminded me that their rolls are quite big (8 pieces in each roll!!) and that 2 of them would probably be too much. So, I audibled to an interesting item that I saw on the menu called Tuna Spaghetti Sashimi. Man, what a call! The dish had tuna sashimi cut into long, thin strips and topped with sprouts. It laid on top of sliced Asian pear that was laid out in a criss crossing pattern with hiyashi wakame on top of it. So we had pear on teh ground level, then hiyashi wakame, then the tuna, then sprouts for garnish. The whole "tower" was drizzled with spicy yuzu, sesame, and soy sauce. What a great dish! I was really surprised how well the Asian pear worked with the dish. It was perfect because it wasnt too sweet and didnt overpower anything else on the dish. The spicy yuzu gave a nice kick as well. The scallop cucumber roll was also very tasty, but I was a bit put off that the sushi chef had included some cream cheese as well. I like it better without and I didnt expect that ingredient since it wasnt listed on the menu.

Overall it was another great trip to this South Miami restaurant and I can understand why they would consider opening another one in Key Biscayne. My bill came to $31 and I added $6 for tip. Not bad for 2 high quality apps, a huge sushi roll, and a beer. I definitely recommend that any Asian food fans check this place out. On my way out, I looked at A-Rod and he gave me one of those, "Yeah, I know you know who I am, please dont bother me" head nods. I can respect that, so I simply said, "Go Sox" as I walked past and he gave me the "Thats funny...asshole" smile haha.

www.originasianbistro.com

American Gladiators is back baby!

As a kid, I grew up watching American Gladiators every weekend. I LOVED that show. Over time it faded and I forgot about it until our good friends at NBC decided to cash in on the idea of bringing it back. This time, the action is very similar but obviously kicked up a notch or two. Same ol' games - gauntlet, joust, pyramid, etc. Lets not forget "The Eliminator" at the end, a name which is spot on perfect because of the way it chews up, digests, and eliminates its competitors. I literally thought one woman was gonna die (I'll get to more on her in a second).

The best new feature of the show though has got to be The Hulkster as host. Pretty much anything this guy says is hilarious, first because of the gimmicky sayings (like saying "brother" at the end of every sentence when speaking to a male contestant), secondly because the only adjective he uses to describe anything is "awesome", and third because his voice sounds like he's constipated all the time. Leila Ali acts as co-host, which added comedic value when she made one of the male contestants nearly crap himself:

Contestant: *jokingly enters a fighting stance towards Leila*

Leila: Uh, you really dont wanna do that...

Contestant: *remembers she is a professional boxer and he has a child to feed and lowers his fists with a quivering laugh*


Adding to the comedy of the Hulksters gimmicks is the horrible, cheesy, acting that the contestants/Hulkster/Gladiators put out there. Everything is overacted and hilariously dramatized. The little Asian girl who had an improbable comeback to win had the whole "Im going to keep on trying or die!" mantra going throughout the whole show. She started screaming something when she won, mostly because she was a minute away from needed to be resuscitated. When this happened I thought to myself, "Wow, imagine if that was your girlfriend? Man, that relationship would have to involve a lot of alcohol and the sex would have to be incredible..." The best part came after she won though. The Asian girl was trailing BIG TIME but the girl that was winning couldnt get up a treadmill. As the Asian girl is pulling herself up a pyramid at a snails pace, the other girl is repeatedly slamming against the ground, so many times I thought it was planned. It was pretty funny knowing that she was gonna lose and watching her repeatedly slam against the ground. Eventually the Asian girl blows by her and wins, which leads to our first hilarious part of the episode. The other girl was also on that incredibly positive mantra kick, so she just HAS TO finish the race to be a "true competitor". As the Hulkster is interviewing the winner, they keep cutting to the loser who is STILL SLAMMING AGAINST THE GROUND!! I could not stop laughing! The poor girl finally gets up the treadmill and then crashes through the pads only to get knocked over and land on her neck. The final shot showed her just lying there with the pads on top of her. It was awesome.

Other great cheesy plots included "the female ex-marine" but my favorite was the "guy who was supposed to be on the show 14 years ago but it didnt happen" plot. Apparently this guy was supposed to be on the show 14 years ago but he got stuck in LA traffic and missed his shot. He talks about it as if it was a turning point in his life, like being on the show now is his dream come true and the Hulkster says, "Wow, you really are a loser, brother." Ok, I made that last part up. The announcers are laying it on pretty thick too, constantly talking about this "14 year gap" and so on. So, the guy is in the eliminator and loses to this scrawny little dude which crushes him. Hulkster is interviewing him about the loss and his first sentence had to set the record for shortest sentance with the most amount of "brothers" in it. Here was the conversation that had me on the floor laughing:

Hulk: What was the toughest part brother?

Loser: *tears welling in his eyes while weeping* Waiting 14 years... Im just happy, uh, Im happy I can see...and that the American Gladiators...gave me a shot to come back after 14 years?!? This means a lot to me. And uh, I wanna say thank you. And I wanna thank my mom and my dad for coming out. I wanna thank my family and friends. And most of all, I wanna thank my beautiful wife and our beautiful baby.

Hulk: Like I said brother, nothing for you but respect for you brother. I love you to death...

So we have a loser who's life dream was to be on American Gladiators have his dream smashed and there is the Hulkster saying he'll love him to death. Awesome. I cant wait for the next episode!

Inequality - get over it

Im watching ESPN and theyre talking about the lack of black coaches in college football Im sick of this shit already. Do we ever hear complaints about the lack of white players in basketball? No. Why? Because there arent as many white players that are better than the black players that dominate the game. Im a long time hoops fan and I still get a laugh when there are more than 2 white dudes on the court at the same time. Im not bitter about it though. Perhaps there arent many black coaches because they just arent any good? Maybe they are at a slight disadvantage, not because of color, but because they havent established the right relationships? Bottom line is that Im tired of the goddamn race card coming up as a cop out. Prove your better and EARN the fuckin job.

You know, I cant help what happened hundreds of years ago with the slaves. Im not Doc or Marty McFly and I cant go back in time in the Delorian to change history. Im tired of hearing about it. Granted there are a lot of people who still look at other races as "inferior", but those people are jealous and scared to admit that they are the inferior ones. On the flip side, the ones who usually play the race card are usually the lazy ones looking for a handout. Get over it.

At least ESPN made up for it by airing the Tony LaRussa DUI tape from his arrest in Jupiter, FL. It was awesome! He was stumbling all over the place and after his rendition of the alphabet I expected the cop to pull a David Spade and say, "Excuse me, did I catch a "niner" in there?"

Done Got Old...

I turn 30 next month. It hasnt really been a big deal to me because Im still a kid inside. However, while jogging yesterday morning, I went to take a deep breath and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. Boy did it hurt. I was yelping just putting on clothes! Then I had to go to the dentist for some drillings thanks to my awesome decision to not have my teeth professionally cleaned in almost 4 years. Yup, bad idea on my part. You can brush and floss all you want, but nothing takes the place of a professional cleaning. The dentist was impressed that it was only as bad as it was! So, I had 2 on top and 2 on bottom but they cant novicane top AND bottom, so she just did the top. I said, "I want you to do as many as you can cuz I dont wanna come back" so she asked if I minded if we did the bottom ones without. I said that was fine because my back hurt so bad that some tooth pain could only make me feel better at that point. I was right. It didnt really hurt that bad and my back felt great lying in the chair. That was until I had to get up again. I iced it all day and took ibuprofen and it was feeling WAY better when I got home. Then I went to sit on the couch and BANG! It felt like someone had shot me in the back with a taser. It took every ounce of lifeforce that I had to get myself up, turn out the lights, and crawl into bed. But my back still KILLED and I was starting to panic a bit. Luckily, my neighbor is a physical trainer who works with a ton of athletes and I was able to call him and have him come over to stretch me out. I barely slept last night and Im still hurtin today. This officially sucks.

Back to the point of this post... Its a huge wake up call that it doesnt matter how you feel all the time, your body is eventually gonna slap you upside the head and say, "Smarten up kid". I have been running a lot lately to prepare for a ski trip next month, but I clearly need to do more and do it more often. The days of being a skinny puke who could eat whatever and do whatever are gone Im afraid. I feel like a piece of me has died haha.

I'll leave you with a little Junior Kimbrough that has been remade by other artists like Buddy Guy and the Heartless Bastards... Its called "Done Got Old".


well, sometimes I feel old
can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

sometimes I feel old (4x)
can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

remember the day, baby
that's passed and gone
said I could love you
once in a time (?)
nothing has changed
but I feel old

can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

I don't look like I used to
I don't walk like I used to
I don't love like I used to, oh
but I feel old

can't do the things
I can't do the things I used to
'cause I feel old

Have you ever wanted to tell yourself to "go fuck yourself"?

Normally when I get emails forwarded to me I trash them. If they are forwards that have been forwarded over and over again, chances of me reading it lessen even more. Well, I guess I trusted the source today because I actually opened all of the forwards until I got to the end and hit the link to this site. Its pretty damn cool. The site is called SitePal and you can type in text and the computer character will speak it back to you. They even have a link where you can create a character for free, though Im sure there is a catch somewhere. The site is for businesses as well, but lets face it, most of their traffic is probably coming from people like me who want to hear a computer say, "go fuck yourself" and "man that chili went right thru me, I gotta take a dump" haha.

Check it out for yourself!

A must read if you need a laugh...

If you are ever wanting to laugh your ass off, you gotta visit The Best Page in the Universe. Ive been reading this guy for years and he never fails to crack me up. Ive read his most recent post about 5 times and each time I still laugh my ass off. Other posts are equally as funny, so if you need a laugh I recommend cycling thru.

Enjoy!