Friday Ramblings

Gotta love Fridays! Some mindless ramblings for you...

Played in a poker tourney last night that my "free" poker league held. $25 entry plus $5 tip for the dealer and $12 whiskey to get more chips (add-on). So much for free eh? Anyhow, the prizes were an iPod Video or iPod Nano for 1st/2nd and a bottle of Dewars 12 for 3rd. I get dealt great cards for most of the night, get a little luck, and Im dominating. I continue to dominate at the table then get impatient at the end and finish 4th... No soup for me.

Its sad to see people that cant forgive and forget, especially around the holidays. Lighten up for crying out loud!

Found out that my drunken High School buddy wasnt making thngs up when he said a guy and girl from our class got kicked out of the bar at our 10 year reunion... Apparently the girl got caught in the men's bathroom giving the guy a blow job. Both are married and were without their significant others - good times!

People that drive slow in the left lane on any 3+ lane road should be pulled over, dragged out of their cars, and beaten with a tire iron. I dont understand why this isnt a law. Well, except for the beating part. In Massachusetts, it actually is a "law". I use quotes because there are actually signs that say, "Pass on the left - Its the law!" but I doubt anyone has ever enforced said law. It just makes things a lot easier for everyone. I also dont see why people need to switch lanes when they have nobody in front of them on the road and they arent in an "exit only" lane. Im tired of Pedro and his 1986 Dodge minivan with no muffler and a bumper secured with duct tape impeding my progress on the road. I will say though, that my weaving skills are top notch and Im thinking of starting a career in Nascar just from my driving experiences in South Florida.

I guess Im not really getting why girls wear sweatpants that say "PINK" across their ass when the color of said sweatpants are not pink.

Im also not getting why clubs in Miami feel the need to rape the general public with insane cover charges for New Years Eve. If you dont want to pay $300-$500/person for a table & bottle of $50-$80 booze, you can always pay $150 and then buy $15 drinks all night. Either way you slice it, youre taking it like Mike Tyson's cell mate. I think they oughta change the name to "Summer's Eve" at those clubs because of the high volume of total douchebags who go there. I like to be around friends on NYE, not people who I could care less about.

I think we've finally gone WAY over the line with Reality TV. A show that involves loser "celebrities" becoming cops has to be the lamest idea ever. Sad thing is that people will watch it, mostly hoping that they get to see one of these "celebrities" get blown away by a drug dealer with a shotgun.

The sound of someone farting, poop jokes/stories, and general "potty humor" still cracks me up. In fact, Im laughing cuz I just typed "potty humor". I turn 30 next year.

Speaking of poop... Best birthday present I got this year was a piece of fake poo, the classic dog poo kind. Ive been waiting for that gift for 29 long years. Yesterday, I had an appraiser come to check out my condo for my refi and I planted it right in the corner of the living room by the entrance to the bedroom where I knew he'd be measuring the square footage. He comes in and says, "Uh, do you have a dog?" I say, "No, but I took care of my neighbors dog yesterday, why?" He replies, "I think there mightve been an accident..." It was awesome.

Saw the commercial with the guy that wears the green suit with dollar signs and talks about how to get free money from the government last week. Do you think when this guy dies that anyone will know? Do you think the government will be happy that their secrets are safe once again? That guy strikes me as the type of guy who goes home, puts on lipstick, and smokes Virginia Slims.

If you havent been to "The Greatest Page in the Universe" you really need to click on the link in my blog links section. Trust me, you wont be sorry. I try to read at least 1 post per day for a good laugh.

Its Friday and NYE is Sunday. Be sure to get drunk tonight so you can recover Saturday and then rage on Sunday. This way your tolerance will be much higher and youre hangover much less severe. You can thank me later.